A digital magazine on sexuality, based in the Global South: We are working towards cultivating safe, inclusive, and self-affirming spaces in which all individuals can express themselves without fear, judgement or shame
No fantasy is wrong. Or sick. Or immoral. Just like good intentions are worthless unless they lead to fruitful actions, wicked fantasies aren’t wrong or sick unless they lead to wicked acts. And no, they don’t have to. That is the point of kink.
Even in these times when sexuality is talked about more than ever before, even as we are beginning to talk about sexual pleasure and not just violations, acknowledging our fantasies isn’t easy, particularly if they are of the kind that seem to defy our politics.
अब मेरे लिए दोस्ती, बीडीएसएम और सेक्स के परिदृश्य को समझना, संभालना, पहले की बनिस्बत आसान तो है मगर फिर भी कहीं धुंधली लकीरें हैं।कभी-कभी पुरुष मित्रों की आँखों में थोड़ी सी ज़बरदस्ती दिखती है, उनकी साथियों की आँखों में थोड़ा सा शक, या महिला-मित्रों की आँखों में मेरी यौनिक पहचान के बारे में वही अनचाही अटकलें भी।
If not for these memories, my exploration of sexuality would perhaps have stopped a few years ago, when I was single for a long time and didn’t know if I could find someone like me.
Irrespective of the gender or sexual orientation of the people involved, the only way the scales of power can be balanced in favour of everyone involved, is through explicit, well-informed consent.
BDSM has been existent in discussion all the way from the time of the Marquis de Sade. However, the only thing that ’Fifty Shades of Grey’ seems to have done is shine the spotlight on a lifestyle that has existed and been judged for quite some time now.
Will I write openly about what is or is not done, what is or is not meaningful when it comes to sexuality? Yes. Will I talk about BDSM and kink as a way of life, despite it being taboo for discussion? Yes, I will talk about BDSM and kink, and many other things as well, but I will not evangelise for them.