Voices
During an orientation session of Queer Hifazat, a programme for queer youth run by my organisation Red Dot Foundation, Deepak*…
Practicing polyamory comes with the struggle of breaking down value systems and non-acceptance that may lead to ostracism not only from the heterosexual world but also from the queer and trans community. Claiming oneself as queer depends not only on how one identifies, but also, in society’s eyes, on who one’s partner is; being single does not qualify and neither does being polyamorous as the latter is considered ‘non-serious’.
Contemporary and predominant imaginations of intimacy focus primarily on a sex-centric (romance-centric?) model which assumes that sexual desire exists and holds the same value for every person and every relationship regardless of their subjective positions. Sexual intent and desire are often the cruces of how relational aspects such as intimacy are socially constructed.
He said ‘tender’ today/in such a way/I thought/I’d definitely like him saying/dirty things to me
I now feel comfortable entertaining the thought that my ease with my selfhood does not necessarily have to be threatened by the possibility of love in coupledom. Indeed, comfort with one’s self can actually evolve into healthier forms of love towards the other(s).
एक समय ऐसा था जब मैं भी लड़कियों के लिए बनाई जाने वाली हर चीज़ से सिर्फ इसलिए दूर भागती थी क्योंकि मुझे लगता था कि नारीवादी दिखने के लिए एक खास तरीके से दिखना और व्यवहार करना आवश्यक है।
एक तो यह समझ नहीं आता की आखिर इसे मेनोपॉज़ क्यों कहते हैं? पॉज़ का मतलब तो यह होता है कि किसी चीज़ का कुछ समय के लिए रुकना और आप के चाहने पर दोबारा शुरू हो जाना। मेरे विचार से तो इसे मेनोस्टॉप कहा जाना चाहिए!
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The desire for intimacy might rob one of the intimacy that one shares with oneself and thus, being with the beloved can leave one feeling even lonelier because of the continuing struggle for validation and comfort.
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