Khusro to Bullah. Ada to Parveen
यह, वह, वो
He, she, they
Lover or Beloved? Woman or Man?
You speak in so many tongues to me as you journey languorously down my body.
Just like on a misty morning,
without a shred of adornment
on these ancient stepwells
and the call of the hummingbirds
offer us sensations,
and our innocence
He said ‘tender’ today/in such a way/I thought/I’d definitely like him saying/dirty things to me
Waxing my body for the first time last year to have silky skin like the women on Veet’s box but ended up with rashes instead.
“Be yourself, Sarah. Awkward smiles, empty silences, weird laughter, and all. It’s just a part of being human. Loving someone physically is never not awkward. Even if it’s a monogamous relationship. It’s only the comfort of familiarity that makes you think otherwise.”
In my flesh, I must pass
But in the digital world,
I can be me.
For everybody was more interested in the welcome sounds of cooks at work and the aromas wafting from the huge community kitchen, adjoining the hall, than in the puja.
I smell the judgement
and the disappointment
of my parents as I enter the hall;
it stinks of their silence on my sexuality.
Like some perverted Pavlovian desire,
the wafting smell of fresh soap
that fills up the air in the bath
has my pupils dilate when walking out.
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