The word ‘commitment’ in the context of sexuality may conjure up images of a lifelong partnership, a ceremony of sorts, perhaps a wedding ring. But commitment is way more than that. To commit implies giving one’s best. Be it to another person, a relationship, an identity, a cause, a practice, or an affiliation. 

It sounds like a serious act – commitment – with a sort of finality about it. As if once the path is chosen, it can lead in only one direction. But paths, as we know, can loop back, spiral, zigzag, curve, twist and turn, or simply meander. They can be smooth, stony, rough or paved. There is also the untrodden path – the path not many take. Is commitment liberation, a limitation, a continuing journey of self-discovery, or something else entirely?

For Anjani Chadha and Vanshika Gupta, several years ago, commitment and community were inseparable. But reality bites. Fallouts, disagreements, and online call-outs within feminist and queer spaces brought them to understand that “the question is not simply whether to stay or leave, but how to remain in relation while something is difficult, unresolved, or broken.” Remaining in relation through the tough times is the recurring motif in Suraj Sur’s personal account too. Suraj writes about the emotional labour of commitment, its endurance and its evolution. In case you think it’s about martyrdom, it’s not.

Krishnapriya K has a different take. Her musings about commitment and the way it is perceived by her peer Gen Z-ers lead her to engage with ideas of investment, calculated risk, and deliberation. In today’s age of loneliness, vulnerability is key to commitment for Krishnapriya. Commitment lies in the body for Amrita Tripathi. Possessing a body and sexuality viewed as undesirable, Amrita eventually found love. Of course, old fears of rejection, of the partner’s possible repulsion towards the body returned. But they found acceptance. The body found its home.

Now, for a change in tone and mood.

Taarina Therese Chandiramani writes a wickedly funny and deeply insightful piece on the terms and conditions to keep in mind before falling in love (with her). Being unable to correctly interpret social cues, Taarina decides to attempt putting together an instruction manual (of sorts) for prospective partners.

Anant reviews Homo and Juliet: Queer & Lesbian Love Stories, Shruti Chakravarty’s new book of eight stories celebrating queer love in the lives of queer women, trans folx, and non-binary persons. Anant recommends Homo and Juliet for documenting rich, and diverse ways of living, resisting, imagining, and creating 

In Hindi, Imran argues that commitment goes beyond legal or social recognition such as that offered by marriage. Trust, respect, responsibility and emotional support are deeper foundations of commitment than simply marriage. 

And so, we return to our original question. Is commitment liberation, a limitation, a continuing journey of self-discovery, or something else entirely?

Go gently. Tread your own path.

Cover image by Jens Lelie on Unsplash