A digital magazine on sexuality in the Global South: We are working towards cultivating safe, inclusive, and self-affirming spaces in which all individuals can express themselves without fear, judgement or shame
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CategoriesVoicesVulnerability and Sexuality

Communication: A Path to Vulnerability

Expressing vulnerability means allowing the real you to come out. The person who has faults, past hurts, and worries about the future. And the person who has love, joy, and aspirations about what could be. When we are vulnerable, we are showing the world all of this: everything that has caused us to feel shame or embarrassment. Being vulnerable like this would also mean showing the world parts of ourselves we are proud of and happy with, even if people may judge those aspects of ourselves as ‘silly’.

To expose ourselves requires fearlessness and determination but when we feel that it is going to assist in self-growth, we  would not hesitate in doing so. Of course, this depends on our comfort level and it may be easier to pour our heart out to certain people rather than others.

When we don’t feel safe enough to express the deepest parts of ourselves, then we close off those parts in our relationships. When we can share with someone ideas we are passionate about or things that are close to our heart and they don’t immediately criticise us, we feel safer to share even more with them next time. When we make a fool of ourselves and they laugh with us and not at us, we are more comfortable to reveal even more of ourselves the next time. We start feeling that we are not alone, the world is full of people who are empathetic to us and have gone through similar situations.

When we feel safe to express the deepest aspects of ourselves, the aspects that are hidden within us and yet are a special part of us,  we feel more confident, and free to be who we truly are. That’s when we feel empowered. We start feeling free. Expressing who we truly are means we can stand by our values and beliefs and that might help us be more authentic and fulfilled. Well, what if we do not find the ‘right’person to talk to? I feel self-talk works too. If I am not able to find the ‘right’ person at a particular moment, the best person to talk to is myself. I go within myself, introspect and find that I am talking to my own self.

I have a rule in my life: Whether I’m right or wrong, I will express what’s on my mind. Now, it doesn’t mean I express everything. Sometimes, I simply don’t say what’s on my mind because it’s not relevant to the discussion, or it’s not important to me. But, when I feel the need to express something because it just has to come out, I’ll do so, despite knowing that I could be wrong.

One area of life where many of us feel extremely vulnerable is sexuality. To open up regarding sexuality, to share deep feelings, to allow oneself to be penetrated or seen naked, to expose tender parts of oneself like desire, fantasy and insecurity, to allow oneself to want and desire and to be fulfilled – these things make us vulnerable. We must all care for ourselves and be discerning about when and where and with whom we show our cards…but those who can hold our emotional and sexual vulnerability are out there, and we can find them and be all of who we are.

The path lies in communication. If we can find even one person who resonates with us and lends us an ear, we can explore those parts of us that are kept hidden, so that we can process and release negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. The more we practice vulnerability, the more our life changes.

Cover Image: Pixabay

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Article written by:

I am a storyteller and a life skills educator. I'm passionate about writing and expressing my thoughts and ideas. In my opinion, sexuality is an area which needs to be talked about and addressed thoughtfully.

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