My birthday was coming up – the first one since my boyfriend and I had begun dating for almost a year. He and I were excited at the idea of spending cosy moments together in some nice place. It had been a long time since we had spent quality time together without any other commitments. We were both looking forward to a memorable day filled with love and intimacy.
My birthday is in May, a peak time of summer heat in the Awadh region of Uttar Pradesh. We knew that it was going to be hot, but did not have any idea of how bad it could get. But, we were hopeful. We started browsing through Google looking for hotels that seemed good and also budget friendly. The real challenge was not just about finding a couple-friendly place, it was about looking for hotels that looked safe and ‘protected’ for couples coming from different religious backgrounds in a religiously sensitive city like Ayodhya. We were looking for a hotel that felt inclusive, safe, non-judgmental and also had air-conditioned rooms.
We went through major apps like Oyo, Agoda, Goibibo and checked for various tags like ‘couple-friendly’, ‘ID accepted’, ‘AC Rooms’ etc. But to be honest, we kept our expectations minimal, especially my partner who had faced a lot of discrimination and was less hopeful. Some hotels seemed okay but others sounded terrible and judgmental when we called them, wanting to know our marital status. A few straightforwardly said no to interfaith couples, and others were wary of any sudden police-checking. Honestly, it was scary. After hours of going through different apps and checking reviews, comparing prices, calling multiple hotels, we finally found a place that felt okay. The staff did not seem curious and judgmental, they did not ask many questions but the cost was Rs, 2500 per night, a bit high as per our budget. But finding no other option we simply booked it, thinking it would be comfortable and peaceful.
When we checked in, the first thing my cautious partner did was to inspect the room, looking for hidden cameras placed anywhere. It may sound overly anxious, but there were many incidents with hidden cameras, especially in small towns. Once everything looked okay, we felt a little relaxed. We had brought egg biryani and some curry from our homes, just to keep to our budget and reduce additional expenses on meals. We cut the birthday cake together, clicked selfies and tried to make it feel like a memorable day.
The weather outside was unbearable due to the extreme heat. The city temperature was touching 45 degrees. The heat felt like it was coming through all the walls. As if this were not enough, frequent power cuts made the situation worse. The AC kept going off and on, and the fan air felt more like the ‘loo’ (hot and dry wind). Within a few hours, the room turned into a pressure cooker.
What we had expected as a cosy, romantic afternoon was slowly turning into something very frustrating. Every time we were trying to get close or cuddle, it was just making us feel hotter, more sweaty and irritated, and even simple touches felt like a kind of extra pressure. Being on diuretic medicines for a few years, I feel that I have become more sensitive to heat. There was a moment I could remember – we were holding each other but I gently pulled away because it was just so uncomfortable, suffocating, and too hot to be held. And that’s when I realised that the heat was actually affecting our connection, mood and desire, We both eventually stopped trying to ‘make the moment’ and just simply lay down with enough space between ourselves, trying to cool down. We kept drinking cold water, wiping our necks and foreheads, drinking ORS; it looked more like we were trying to survive than to celebrate.
The whole week we had waited with so much excitement, with the thought that this day would be ‘ours’, ‘memorable’, ‘refreshing’. But in the end, all we wanted by the evening was to just step out and so we did that. We left the hotel to go to the riverside and sit there. That was the first time I felt peaceful all day. We just sat there for some time, and to be honest, it felt more ‘cosy’ and ‘intimate’ than anything else.
That day did not go as we had imagined, but it also made me think that whenever we talk about climate change, our focus suddenly goes to melting glaciers, rising sea levels, heavy rainfalls, etc but rarely do we talk about bodies, about love, about intimacy. What I realised on that birthday was that climate change is not just an environmental issue; it also shapes how we feel, how we connect, how we build intimacy.
