Is there anything about my sexuality that is private anymore? What happened to the unspoken rule of not discussing one’s sexual life in the open? What happened to the sleazy jokes and the complete silence around sexuality that I remember from the previous generation?
Will I write openly about what is or is not done, what is or is not meaningful when it comes to sexuality? Yes. Will I talk about BDSM and kink as a way of life, despite it being taboo for discussion? Yes, I will talk about BDSM and kink, and many other things as well, but I will not evangelise for them.
The point is simple. Intimacy is not about sexuality, penetrative sex, gender, BDSM or any one parameter. Yet, intimacy is about all of them AND MORE.
BDSM has been existent in discussion all the way from the time of the Marquis de Sade. However, the only thing that ’Fifty Shades of Grey’ seems to have done is shine the spotlight on a lifestyle that has existed and been judged for quite some time now.
Home is usually the place where we begin exploring all aspects of life. In India, one area that is often omitted from this exploration is sexuality. In most Indian households, irrespective of the socio-economic stratum, conversations around sex and sexuality are at best limited to reproductive health education or,at worst, sexist jokes and innuendo. In…
अब मेरे लिए दोस्ती, बीडीएसएम और सेक्स के परिदृश्य को समझना, संभालना, पहले की बनिस्बत आसान तो है मगर फिर भी कहीं धुंधली लकीरें हैं।कभी-कभी पुरुष मित्रों की आँखों में थोड़ी सी ज़बरदस्ती दिखती है, उनकी साथियों की आँखों में थोड़ा सा शक, या महिला-मित्रों की आँखों में मेरी यौनिक पहचान के बारे में वही अनचाही अटकलें भी।
My formative years in BDSMwere heavily influenced by a series of books called Chronicles of Gor written by an author called John Norman. I had discovered various alternative lifestyles like BDSM, Gor, Polyamory, Swinging etc. in a BDSM chatroom and explored deep enough to land upon some chatrooms which focused on role play and philosophical…