fantasy and sexuality
Our fantasies are our personal ‘playgrounds in the head’
Approach imagination with curiosity and other people with care
Before one answer closes all the other possibilities
18 August, 20xx Dear E, Life is bewildering. Growing up and becoming a woman isn’t the funfair I thought it…
क्या हम उस दुनिया की कल्पना करने की हिम्मत रखते हैं जो अभी मौजूद नहीं है?
Even in these times when sexuality is talked about more than ever before, even as we are beginning to talk about sexual pleasure and not just violations, acknowledging our fantasies isn’t easy, particularly if they are of the kind that seem to defy our politics.
Fantasy is make-believe. We make something up and then we believe it in order to make it exist. However, in some contexts, the make-believe is relegated to the realm of mere ‘play’ (as opposed to the ‘real’), but there’s no denying that make-believing is a crux of human civilisation – children naturally play make-believe games that steer them in their growth, adults use the hypothetical in their thought to make everyday decisions, and both children and adults rely on fantastical stories and myths to construct a common meaning that contributes to creating the world as we know it.
Even in these times when sexuality is talked about more than ever before, even as we are beginning to talk about sexual pleasure and not just violations, acknowledging our fantasies isn’t easy, particularly if they are of the kind that seem to defy our politics.
Eudaimonia, ever the kind soul, made every effort to befriend her cousins who initially treated her as a pest. Maybe it was out of spite for the love Eudaimonia received from the elders in the house and that too which she often left in her wake, but before long her cousins turned their attention to her in ways so cruel, the light in Eudaimonia’s eyes began to wane and it would be a very long time before it shone through them again.
मैं एक लेखिका हूँ । बीडीएसएम (BDSM) के बारे में लिखती हूँ । एक दशक से ज़्यादा हो गया मुझे …
जो वर्जित है उससे मन ही मन सोचकर ख़ुशी पाने के अलावा, यौन कल्पनाएँ हमें सुरक्षित रूप से खोज करने का और बिना किसी प्रतिबद्धता के, बिना किसी परिणाम की चिंता के, विभिन्न तरीकों से रहने और उनका आनंद लेने का मौका देती हैं। यह कुछ-कुछ ऐसा है जैसे हम बिना खाना बनाने की झंझट के, या बर्तन साफ़ करने या अपच और वज़न बढ़ने की चिंता के भी अपने मन की चीज़ खाने का मज़ा ले सकते है।