acceptance

Acting Like Myself
An illustration of stage-curtains in bright color.

Wesley D’Souza recounts the time his school put up a production of The Pied Piper of Hamelin, his preparations for its audition, and how the process was intertwined with an exploration and acceptance of his sexuality.

By Wesley D'Souza
January 3, 2023
Acting Like Myself
Of Identity and Belongings: The Gatekeeping within Queer Spaces
A close-up of chainmesh fencing.
No matter how much I wanted to be a part of the rainbow, it felt like the rainbow wanted no part of me. It was an elite space for the exuberant über cool gays, with access, privilege and a vocabulary filled with jargon. I couldn’t even decide if I was ‘gay enough’, let alone deconstruct my experiences, having being brought up in a heteronormative culture.
By Shubhangi
September 1, 2022
Of Identity and Belongings: The Gatekeeping within Queer Spaces
Interview – This is what you bring to the table!
A photograph of a number of multicoloured rainbows against the background of a blue sky.

In this write up, we’d like to share a sense of what emerges from a compilation of these responses. This is based on the thoughts and feelings that come through for those of us here at In Plainspeak who have had the joy of reading the original responses as they came in to us. (Some of the quotations that follow have been slightly edited for flow and to help connect themes.) We know that most things in the realm of art, information and ideas lend themselves to a wide range of inferences and insights depending on the individuals making the inferences.

By Shikha Aleya
March 1, 2022
Interview – This is what you bring to the table!
Brushstrokes – Scribbles
A black-and-white line drawing of a woman with wavy hair, multiple necklaces including one with a beetle pendant, earrings in the shape of a dice. There are stars on her face, and the only colour in the artwork is in the woman’s eyelids, which have been conceptualised as rainbows.

Scribbles: an Escape From the Mundane is a product of my thoughts and emotions when I was struggling to understand my sexuality and grappling with the idea of identifying with the spectrum of gender and sexuality outside the binary, but not being able to put a label on it.

By Nishita Kamdar
March 1, 2022
Brushstrokes – Scribbles
Interview: Shruti Arora
A photograph of a woman’s face with a mural in the background. The woman has short black hair and a nose piercing. She is smiling.

There may already be another organisation in the community to share resources with but for community-led initiatives, a shared perspective on Safe, Inclusive, Sexuality-Affirming (SISA) spaces is also important. Sometimes when the shared perspective is not there, that becomes a challenge.

By Shikha Aleya
January 3, 2022
Interview: Shruti Arora
Navigating love, loneliness and singlehood
A photo of the throat, clavicles and shoulders against a black background. The body is highlighted with golden brown light and there is a mole at the base of the throat.

The desire for intimacy might rob one of the intimacy that one shares with oneself and thus, being with the beloved can leave one feeling even lonelier because of the continuing struggle for validation and comfort.

By Anonymous
January 3, 2022
Navigating love, loneliness and singlehood
Acting Like Myself
An illustration of stage-curtains in bright color.

In this month’s issue of Play and Sexuality, Wesley D’Souza recounts the time his school put up a production of The Pied Piper of Hamelin, his preparations for its audition, and how the process was intertwined with an exploration and acceptance of his sexuality.

By Wesley D'Souza
December 15, 2021
Acting Like Myself
Haunted by Shame: The Struggle of Being Rendered Invisible

Where did my body go? This is a question I have asked myself repeatedly over the last two years. My…

By Reva Puri
September 1, 2021
Haunted by Shame: The Struggle of Being Rendered Invisible
Review: I see you
A still from the film 'A Kid Like Jake'. In a city-background with houses to the right and a car to the left, three figures: a blonde woman wearing a black and white striped t-shirt, blue jeans, and a beige coat, carrying a brown bag on her shoulder is holding a child's hand from the left. The child is wearing a purple, glittery tutu and a blue shirt. Their arms are outstretched and on the right side, held by a man wearing a peach shirt, blue hoodie and blue jeans. He has black hair. Both the man and the woman are looking at the child.

My friend’s son, too, likes wearing tutus and frilly skirts. Every time they go shopping for clothes, he heads to the girl’s section and picks out the frilliest outfit. At check out, invariably the cashier asks if the pretty outfit is for his sister and he confidently says it is for him. Often he wears these outfits to school. His confidence comes from his mother’s acceptance of him and her understanding of his gender expansiveness. It helps that she is a sociologist, but there is a constant pushback from society including from his peers at school who bully the little boy. But it is the constant support from his mother and family that allows him to remain confident and thrive whilst being different.

By ElsaMarie D'Silva
June 15, 2021
Review: I see you
Should I Say I Love You?
A photograph, against a dark background, of a zoomed-in fence with a square lock hanging. The lock is painted red, left un-coloured in a heart shape in the middle.

Being vulnerable helps boost our self-esteem and self-worth by pushing us out of our comfort-zone. It provides us with an opportunity to overcome obstacles and reach deep down within ourselves to find strength and confidence to keep going even when the odds are against us.

By Shubham Ranjan
April 19, 2021
Should I Say I Love You?
Vulnerability and Romantic Relationships: My Struggles Navigating These Spaces
A zoomed-in photograph of a wall with differently coloured flanks.

It took me some time to realise how important being vulnerable or, for that matter, being vulnerable during sexual engagement was for me to have great sex and how empowering it is for my sexuality. After much thought, I decided to open up to my partner about my past experiences and other things I never used to openly talk about.

By Grishma Trivedi
April 19, 2021
Vulnerability and Romantic Relationships: My Struggles Navigating These Spaces
There I sat down and wept

“Be yourself, Sarah. Awkward smiles, empty silences, weird laughter, and all. It’s just a part of being human. Loving someone physically is never not awkward. Even if it’s a monogamous relationship. It’s only the comfort of familiarity that makes you think otherwise.”

By Anna Lynn
April 19, 2021
There I sat down and wept
Reclining Vulnerability

Through multiple maquettes, I finally came across (since I myself did not know what the result of the form or figure would be) the Reclining Lady. She represents confident femininity and vulnerability. The feeling one has after taking a bath and sitting in the nude, drying oneself in unabashed nakedness.

By Noella Fernandes
April 19, 2021
Reclining Vulnerability
Brushstrokes: The AVR Method
A comic strip where two purple coloured figures can be seen snuggling on bed. There is a table with a laptop, two mobile phones, a slice of pizza, and a water bottle next to them. Behind the figures are two plants, a window and a bookshelf. On top left, ‘Let’s snuggle and forget the cruel world outside’ is written

From being comfortable doing nothing in someone’s company or cooking and laughing together, to confiding in them our hopes and fears, feeling safe letting someone seeing us at our best as well as through our not-so-good moments is like ‘coming home’ in the world.

By Curated Content
April 5, 2021
Brushstrokes: The AVR Method
Video: Friendship & Vulnerability
Poster image of the video ‘Friendship and Vulnerability’. Drawing of two people eating ice cream can be seen in the image. On the left side is written Friendship and Vulnerability in capital letters

We are often told to speak to ourselves as we would to a friend, gently and lovingly. At the heart of friendship is vulnerability – a radical acceptance of oneself and another for who we truly are, the glowing and beautiful, as well as the dark and crooked.

By Curated Content
April 5, 2021
Video: Friendship & Vulnerability
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