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Patriarchy Won’t Let Me Masturbate

An out-of-focus individual holds a shard of glass in front of them and a portion of their face is visible in it.

A man must do it all with a ‘hard edge’
A little rough, nasty, brutish
With courage and temperance, wisdom and justice
With cardinal virtues displayed
All along the way
So to never share
Life’s tender moments.
Or better still,
To never have them at all.
To be a man is to compare.
All that goes is big, and vulgar, and virile
Now that’s very important you know….virility
Just a taut wire
Erect all the time
As if there was no before or there’ll be no after
Erect all the way
A man must do unto this last
And be proud of what he’s produced
A piece of heavy metal
A prick-ly shard of glass

And so when I want
To have an experience, a stroll, a gentle push… not a ‘jerk’
I’m being too needy
And men can’t need. They provide, you know
With no cardinal virtues, when I
Crave and I share,
I’m at fault.
When I doubt if it has to be that hard-edged
Or when I long for care
Or to care for
As I generate empathy in bed
I’m being a ‘softy’
And I’ll ‘never get a woman’
Because a man never welcomes. He ‘gets’, right?
I’m warm some days
Going slow and steady
Neither erect all day
Nor erect all the way
When there truly is no ‘climax’
But a sinuous path to pleasure and fun
There’s nowhere to be and nowhere to run
I’m laughed at and chided
For a man doesn’t linger. He just arrives, you know

That’s all the big roles and ethics
All there to fulfil.
Another task,
Another box to tick
Another concrete path to rush
Quick, simple and straight.
All t’s and i’s
No oohs and aahs
The formality is done
And on we must go!

Only that I of swollen eyes
And tired skin must wait
And linger
And worship for a while.
Afford a break or two in between
And hazard a happy smile
Cherish it, kiss it all
Whetting it through my hair and flesh
Letting it pass each bone in my body
Hell no!
Patriarchy won’t have all this nonsense
For I, ever the future ‘father’
Can only serve and protect
Forever and truly be alone…

Cover Image: Photo by jurien huggins on Unsplash