Sexual desire is a potent force – it can and has led to all kinds of mayhem, but at the same time it can be a powerfully liberating and transformative force.
In a two-part interview with TARSHI, Paromita Vohra tells it to us as only she can: frank, articulate and free of male cow poop!
The point is not to lay the blame on women or assign them responsibility for patriarchy. It is to encourage a deeper introspection of our desires. My first boyfriend, whom I got to know in 2010, was in the habit of asking me (and other women he had previously dated) whether he could kiss me, before doing so. Every time any sexual activity was involved he would always ask beforehand and continuously check in if I was comfortable throughout.
अंत में, मुझे तो फिल्में विषयों और परिस्थितियों को एक अन्य अंदाज़ से देखने का अवसर देती हैं। मैंने फिल्मों को देखकर शरीर और इसकी इच्छाओं के बारे में बहुत कुछ जाना है – मैंने समझा है कि दर्द जो कुछ लोगों के लिए दर्द होता है, वही दूसरों के लिए आनंद के स्रोत बन सकता है। मैंने यह भी जाना है कि पैसे का लेन–देन करके किया जाने वाला सेक्स हमेशा अपराध नहीं होता और यह कि सभी लोग आनंद का अनुभव करते हैं और कर सकते हैं।
The concluding chapter reiterates the aims of the book, i.e., “to start critical conversations within the disciplines of psychology, social work, childhood studies, and family studies in India and to think about exclusions inherent in these disciplines.
“Disabled people are treated like children,” says Nidhi Goyal, founder director of the NGO Rising Flame, a disability rights activist and comedian. This identification makes the non-disabled — a term Goyal prefers using — feel entitled to decide for them.
सच्चाई इस सब से परे थी; सच्चाई ये थी कि मैं एक किशोर लड़की थी जिसके मन में अनेको आकांक्षाएँ थी, वासना थी, लालसा थी और इन सब को पूरा करने के तरीके ढूँढने की ललक भी थी।
Desire is never straightforward, and it cannot be straitjacketed – in fact, there is nothing straight about desire at all. Any issue dealing with desire, therefore, is wasted if viewed through a monochromatic lens.
Female sexuality isn’t in the closet any more. If you look at the spate of films that have been released in the past couple of years, they seem to tell us that women mouth expletives, watch porn and don’t mind talking about orgasms—things taken for granted when it comes to men.
Any desire, not necessarily or narrowly sexual, but perhaps related to sexuality, such as independence, equality, gender role-bending, controlling your own finances, eating the food you’d like to eat as opposed to the food your spouse desires, wearing the clothes you’d like to wear, birth control, choosing to have or not to have children … any of these desires would have only that importance that the individual concerned is able to apportion to it.
I am a feminist, sex-positive and LGBT affirmative Clinical Psychologist. Having that openly and publicly stated means that my clients feel very safe discussing some of the more taboo topics, especially ones that we are made to feel ashamed of. One of these is the topic of the rape fantasy.
The short film, “#Purana Pyaar”, by Gorilla Shorts, starring veteran actors Mohan Agashe and Lillette Dubey, evocatively highlights how age is no bar when it comes to love and desire.
In Nacher Chhele, a 38 year old Avijit stands outside himself, takes a long look at his past, and writes an intense testimonio, which would resonate with many middle class Bengali queer men who grew up in the pre-global, pre-Internet city of Calcutta in the 80s and 90s.
I am single and successful in the city. My general health is under control. I can still pull off an all-nighter maybe once a quarter. My sexuality and desire have evolved and matured with my age. Heck, in my eyes, I am Mrs. Robinson. But the eye candy at the bar sees me as Miss Havisham.