We have heard of many love stories, some culminating in marriage, the ultimate ‘they lived happily ever after’ ending. But the road to the happy ending is often not very smooth; there may come a phase when the couple’s relationship lacks a spark. They call it off or take a break. And in this break, one or both of them may resort to taking on a side lover, a temporary but important one; important in bringing the spark back into the original relationship. What does a side lover do? They mostly listen to the person’s venting, listen to things like how they sabotaged their relationship and are now interested in making amends. Side lovers may also watch a movie with this person, have sex with them, and then, on one fine morning, hear that the ex is back, and it is time for the side lover to let go. Let go smoothly.
I, Raya, 26 years old, have been a Side, thrice. I know Renu and Vihaan who have been Sides as well. There are a thousand others whom I don’t know. We all are members of ‘The Side People’. No, we don’t sit around a table every Saturday to cry. We are professionals, expert Sides. People in need of a Side, fill out an online form, and based on their preferences, one of us will get a text message to meet a person at a specified location on a fixed date and time. We have a ground rule – Nothing without consent – and payment must be made on a daily basis.
My first two assignments from The Side People lasted for three and four months each, respectively. My third assignment was exceptional and that’s the one I am going to tell you about. I was asked to meet Rajeev, with a small red placard placed on my table with ‘I am here for you’ written in white on it, at Blue Science, a café that specialised in making mojitos. He was a corporate techie, and had dated Inaaya, an MBA student, for a year when she decided to leave him, because she thought Rajeev to be a lost soul beyond any scope of repair. Rajeev considered dating another girl might change Inaaya’s perspective and would give him a chance to revive his self-esteem which, at that point, was on the lower side. We never raise doubts about our clients’ hunches. Rajeev was tall and lanky, not very handsome, and was very polite except for his poor jokes which he relayed with irrational confidence. Our main topic of discussion was usually Inaaya, and our conversations climaxed with Rajeev’s sobs and self-loathing. So
Rajeev was not a good listener, but he was keen on asking questions, especially about my profession. When I was halfway through my reply, he would pick up on something and carry on with a story about Inaaya and himself. It was like an essay on the cow – no matter what the topic is, you eventually end up writing about the cow! I sometimes felt his entire world still revolved around his past relationship and every attempt to make a fresh start, or even the slightest attempt to divert his thinking, only ended with him diving deeper into past memories. Once, with a silly smile, he asked me whether I had ever fallen in love with any of my previous clients. That made me uncomfortable, but, before I could even voice my answer, he laughed, saying that it was nothing but a joke. That was his usual way of pointing out jokes, his mindless jokes!
On our one-year anniversary of siding, Rajeev looked extremely gloomy. I could guess the reason behind his teary eyes and choked voice (it had been a year without Inaaya) but little did I know about the surprise that was awaiting me! I saw him going down on his knees and looking into my eyes like a toddler on his first day of school who could cry at the slightest hint of a rebuke from the teacher. He asked whether I would consider getting married to him! This has happened before, not with me, but with Renu. I knew very well that he actually had no intention of marrying me but was just so dispirited that he wanted to do something really desperate and outlandish. When I expressed my dissent he tried to convince me to give it a second thought. I politely reminded him that I was a Side and never his date. I still vividly remember the next thing that happened. Rajeev was wailing, not sobbing but wailing, like a child who has just dropped his double scoop of chocolate ice cream on floor. After a long struggle for
It has been around two years since I quit The Side People. The man-child with the empty ice cream cone motivated me to give up Siding. I considered that he was not a lost soul after all because there was a plethora of emotions that he could still experience. I wanted to experience those same emotions that only true relationships can evoke in life, even if those emotions include extreme pain and heartache. Nothing can be less fortunate than to become a person whose heart is devoid of any feelings.
So I decided to date Rik from work. We shared food, thoughts, and a bed for six months, and then we lost the spark. It was then that I thought of finding a Side. Not that I was too keen to revive things with Rik but I was curious to experience it from the other side, to know how my clients used to feel speaking about themselves. I filled up the form and was asked to meet my Side at Blue Science. On a golden evening in December, I was there looking for someone with a red placard. What first caught my eye was Rajeev, neither wailing, nor sobbing, but sitting patiently by the window and taking sips from a blue glass. He was looking well-groomed, I thought. He had put on some weight and looked fresh, as if he had just taken a shower. Then I saw the red placard I was looking for, in Rajeev’s hand. Like always, it said ‘I am here for you’.
