What is the self, and what does it mean to give care? Philosophers, activists, artists, scientists, people of all inclinations and positions have pondered on, played with, and struggled to come to meaningful definitions about the issues these questions address. Without care, can there be a self at all?
“Sexuality and self-care are related at many levels, right from the level of knowing what you want and what you don’t, how you feel about yourself, how you are able to communicate your desires and how you are able to enjoy your experiences.”
Fantasy is make-believe. We make something up and then we believe it in order to make it exist. However, in some contexts, the make-believe is relegated to the realm of mere ‘play’ (as opposed to the ‘real’), but there’s no denying that make-believing is a crux of human civilisation – children naturally play make-believe games that steer them in their growth, adults use the hypothetical in their thought to make everyday decisions, and both children and adults rely on fantastical stories and myths to construct a common meaning that contributes to creating the world as we know it.
जो वर्जित है उससे मन ही मन सोचकर ख़ुशी पाने के अलावा, यौन कल्पनाएँ हमें सुरक्षित रूप से खोज करने का और बिना किसी प्रतिबद्धता के, बिना किसी परिणाम की चिंता के, विभिन्न तरीकों से रहने और उनका आनंद लेने का मौका देती हैं। यह कुछ-कुछ ऐसा है जैसे हम बिना खाना बनाने की झंझट के, या बर्तन साफ़ करने या अपच और वज़न बढ़ने की चिंता के भी अपने मन की चीज़ खाने का मज़ा ले सकते है।
Sexual fantasies allow us to conjure up worlds that we want to play with, but in reality, we may not really want. A fantasy is different from a wish. So people may have sexual fantasies about things that they may never act out – like having sex in front of a multitude of onlookers, or with a zebra, or a famous film star or the neighbour next door. And it’s all safe.
[Editor’s note: When discussing consent and coercion, it is impossible to deny the shame and secrecy that surround issues of sexual…