A digital magazine on sexuality, based in the Global South: We are working towards cultivating safe, inclusive, and self-affirming spaces in which all individuals can express themselves without fear, judgement or shame
Growing up, for me, has been about accepting that the loneliness and sadness woven into the fabric of my being do not go away with entering conventional arrangements like monogamous relationships or marriage.
For a queer person, or for someone who remains single by choice, everyday existence requires strength and will. That is the embodiment of kun faya kun as a personal philosophy: to manifest the person you want to be through sheer will.
I believe that queer friendships and intimacies are sheer resistance, which not only swallow the despair and pain that might be perpetrated on gender-nonconforming people by their families, but also recognise all the lies about love that have been sold to us.
I am 27 now and marriage is the most brought-up topic of conversation by my parents and relatives. Now, choosing or wanting to stay single is inversely proportional to my reputation, respect, and worthiness.
By and large, society expects a woman to marry. Often people in one’s circle judge a woman if she doesn’t marry, inquiring about what could be wrong but most never assuming that it could be out of choice
Sexuality and self-care are related at many levels, right from the level of knowing what you want and what you don’t, how you feel about yourself, how you are able to communicate your desires and how you are able to enjoy your experiences.
Therapy gives us tools and time, but the actual work of dismantling the forest is ours as we are the only persons with access to that forest. So queer affirmative therapy validates our beliefs and helps us identify the poison, cut it down, dissect it, unroot it.
Risk by itself is not a stigmatised subject, but sexuality is, and has been for generations. This has led to closeting, to shutting the door, on many necessary conversations about the risks to rights that millions of vulnerable individuals and many vulnerable communities live with, across the globe.
While highlighting safety from, media narratives often dismiss safety to: express oneself, be it through the way we identify and communicate, or through the body. Not only the spaces we access and the time of day we do so but also the way we perform our self-hood.
Ethical considerations and frameworks for traditional (for the lack of a better term) have had decades of debates, discussions, and revisions to have Boards of Review with similar ethics regulations (although they are still being critiqued).
I gave myself the freedom to choose. And I chose to re-examine my assumptions. Maybe it was possible to ask strange men for directions without being afraid of seeming vulnerable. Maybe I could plan my outfit without bothering about the fact that I would be travelling on public transport.
While navigating hook-up culture, we may exercise our agency to express our sexuality but at the same time, may face risks to our safety and bodily integrity as well as obstacles engendered by misogyny, rape culture, heteronormativity, and double standards.
Trans rights activist Kanmani Ray succinctly lays down the concerns around the Act, points out how its language reinforces the gender binary and highlights the fact that while seeking to protect the rights of trans people, the Act in fact discriminates against them.
आज मुझे लड़कियों के अपने हॉस्टल से निकले हुए तीन वर्ष हो चुके हैं, और मुझे लगता है कि हॉस्टल जीवन में मिली सभी सीखें आज भी मेरे यौनिक जीवन को सही दिशा देने में कारगर साबित हो रही हैं।
इसलिए, तुम्हारे आज के स्वः या अवतार के रूप में, मैं तुम्हें अपनी क्षमताओं में विश्वास रखने के लिए प्रोत्साहित करती हूँ, अपने सपनों पर केंद्रित रहना, एक स्वाभाविक मूल्य प्रणाली विकसित करना जो हठधर्मिता से मुक्त हो, हमेशा जिज्ञासु बनी रहना और निरंतर सीखने की अपनी इच्छा का पोषण करना, और अपना जीवन स्वतंत्र रूप से और पूरी तरह से जीना।