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Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

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Being a friend does not make him better than a stalker: Glorification of men who can’t take no for an answer in Hindi cinema

The very last lines of a film are the voice-over by the hero, “Someday I will convince her to… marry me”….

By Shaifali Agrawal

February 1, 2018

Being a friend does not make him better than a stalker: Glorification of men who can’t take no for an answer in Hindi cinema

Themes

In Plainspeak publishes one issue every month, with a single theme running across two months. Our aim is to expand safe, inclusive self-affirming spaces.

CURRENT ISSUE:

February-March 2026: Digital Intimacies and Sexuality

With ever-increasing (for most of us) access to and reliance on digital modes of connecting, we are no strangers to digital intimacies – erotic, sexual, platonic, emotional – on social media, gaming platforms, dating apps, and so on. While digital spaces afford possibilities of sexual freedom and pleasure, they also hold the threat of surveillance, exposure, and abuse. So what do we do to optimise our experience? Do we use different modes of self-representation, visibility/anonymity and self-censorship on different platforms? How do factors like queerness, ethnicity, caste, a/sexuality, and disability play out in the creation and sustenance of digital intimacies? Are the sexual intimacies that digital spaces afford congruent with those in our offline lives? Must they be, or is there a particular thrill in their not being so? What is ‘authenticity’ when it comes to our online persona/e and our sexual lives? These are some of the questions that this issue of In Plainspeak engages with.

फरवरी – मार्च २०२६: डिजिटल अंतरंगता और यौनिकता

हम में से अधिकांश लोगों के लिए डिजिटल माध्यमों तक पहुंच और उन पर निर्भरता लगातार बढ़ती जा रही है, और सोशल मीडिया, गेमिंग प्लेटफॉर्म, डेटिंग ऐप्स आदि पर डिजिटल अंतरंगता – कामुक, यौनिक, गैर-यौनिक, भावनात्मक – हमारे लिए कोई नई बात नहीं है। डिजिटल स्थान यौन स्वतंत्रता और आनंद की संभावनाएं तो प्रदान करते हैं, लेकिन साथ ही निगरानी, पर्दाफाश और हिंसा का ख़तरा भी पैदा करते हैं। तो हम अपने अनुभव को बेहतर बनाने के लिए क्या कर सकते हैं? हम विभिन्न प्लेटफॉर्मों पर आत्म-प्रतिनिधित्व, दृश्यता, गुमनामी और आत्म-नियंत्रितता को कैसे अलग-अलग तरीक़ों से इस्तेमाल करते हैं? क्वीयर होना, अयौनिक होना, यौनिकता, जातीयता, जाति, और विकलांगता जैसे कारक डिजिटल अंतरंगता के निर्माण और उसे बनाए रखने में क्या भूमिका निभाते हैं? क्या डिजिटल मंचों द्वारा प्रदान की जाने वाली यौनिक अंतरंगता हमारे ऑफलाइन जीवन की अंतरंगता के अनुरूप है? क्या ऐसा होना ज़रूरी है, या फिर ऐसा न होने में एक ख़ास रोमांच है? हमारी ऑनलाइन पहचान और हमारे यौन जीवन के संदर्भ में प्रामाणिकता (ऑथेंटिसिटी) क्या है? इन प्लेनस्पीक का यह अंक कुछ ऐसे प्रष्नों पर विचार-विमर्श करता है।

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