Alert: Some spoilers ahead
What does it mean to commit in a relationship, whether it’s familial, friendly, platonic, romantic or sexual in nature? Fundamentally for me, it means being a pillar of support for each other, keeping each other in check, knowing what’s going on in your partner’s life, being cognizant of their likes and dislikes, and giving and holding space.
Where does all this factor in Olivia Wilde’s third directorial feature, The Invite? Part of the answer is in the opening minutes of the film, that display an interesting quote by Oscar Wilde, which forms the thesis of this 1-hour-and-45-minute film, “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.”
At first glance, reading this quote would make one think that the director-actor Wilde does not favour marriage, as, depending on what one’s married life is like, the spark that comes with love tends to die down with time, making one not view their partner in a positive light. But that’s not the case. In fact, Wilde, with this remake of the 2020 Spanish film Sentimental, makes the case that when you are married to someone, there is a thin line between making one a shell of what they were and being willing to do a balancing act of harmonising without losing oneself.
The film is about Angela and Joe (Wilde and Seth Rogen) whose marriage is walking on thin ice. Joe is shocked to learn from Angela that they are inviting the upstairs neighbours, Piña and Hawk (Penélope Cruz and Edward Norton), to their newly-renovated apartment.They begin arguing over this and also about the loud noises from Piña and Hawk’s flat. The latter point of contention becomes important as the film progresses.
When Piña and Hawk arrive, we see they are poles apart from Angela and Joe when it comes to understanding each other. The palpable energy they carry is rooted in honesty. One can’t help but empathise with Angela, as to why she is desperate to impress this couple, who, in her eyes, are cooler than Joe and her.
At the mid-point of the film, the awkward vibe changes when Piña and Hawk reveal that they have sex parties with other people (the source of the loud noises from their flat), accompanied by a menu of different sexual acts (not rooted in pornography tropes), and rules that are grounded in consent, pleasure and joy. Piña and Hawk practise compersion, which, as Piña explains, “is finding joy in the joy of others.” This gets the ball rolling, Angela and Joe, being invited to join them that night, are left intrigued.
The best part about The Invite, apart from Olivia Wilde’s direction, production design by Jade Healy, editing by Anthony Boys and Yorgos Mavropsaridis and the cinematography by Adam Newport-Berra, is how the screenplay by Rashida Jones and Will McCormack makes us dive deep into the relationships of both couples without judgement, and it doesn’t force the audience to take anyone’s side. When Piña, uses her professional experience as a psychotherapist and sexologist to talk about perimenopause with Angela (in reference to her being emotional in different moments) and Joe tries to joke about it, Piña’s explanation of this phenomenon by creating an analogy with his testicles shrivelling up and dying, leading to his genitals flopping around in the breeze for the next thirty years, is hilarious and unique in equal parts. Another striking moment that occurs when Piña and Hawk offer an open invite to Angela and Joe for group sex is that Joe asks if he’s included. It is a sad moment, but it becomes an essential character point in the film as Angela bickers with Joe over not having had sex for a year.
Olivia Wilde’s The Invite, through these conversations, also highlights the self-image of Joe and Angela. Thanks to the background score by Devonté Hynes, I high-key prayed to God that Angela and Joe would not fight in front of Piña and Hawk. But they did so repeatedly, making us viewers watch their inner thoughts unfold and exposed the resentment they have for each other and themselves for their fractured marriage.
In the end, it is Piña who encapsulates the meaning of Oscar Wilde’s quote with which The Invite opens, “I think we only get a few chances for meaningful relationships in life. Usually, we move to different people. Sometimes, we can have a new relationship with the same person. It’s up to you.”
The film suggests that real intimacy requires individuals to be vulnerable, more open, and willing to keep choosing the same person, even when that choice becomes complicated. What lingers is not just the film’s non-judgemental approach to relationships, but that commitment is less about perfection and more about finding a way to remain honest, present, and connected.
Image credit: A24/Pinterest
