I did not know what feminism meant, but I remember being told I\u2019m too rough for a girl. Or, was it bold? Or, rude? I don\u2019t remember \u2013 there were many words that I was associated with, and believe it or not, I actually used to like them. I used to like that I\u2019m not like other girls, that I\u2019m like a boy. So proud was I.<\/p>\n
By the time I entered college, I still did not know what feminism was, or maybe I had a vague idea. However, I do remember confusing feminism with feminine and was duly corrected in German Literature class by my professor. So, I do not remember when feminism happened to me. I\u2019m also quite tired of answering this question: \u201cSo, when did you become a feminist?\u201d Maybe I was already a feminist when I was being rough, bold, rude, strong, and hard for a girl, but didn\u2019t know the correct term.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think one becomes a feminist at a particular moment in time. It\u2019s not like one has to do a \u2018feministy\u2019 ritual like burn bras (just FYI, they were never burnt<\/a>, it\u2019s only symbolic), eat men alive or practice witchcraft (though I wish I could), and voil\u00e0, you\u2019re a feminist! Feminism is a process that starts maybe subconsciously when day after day you see, hear, experience, and share the pathetic discrimination around you, or maybe consciously when you decide you\u2019ve had enough. Feminism takes time, and it should. You choose your politics, you choose your struggles, and you choose your methodology.<\/p>\n You fight against early marriage or sexual violence; you fight against gender-based sex selection or for the right of women to wear whatever they want and the walk the streets without fear at any time; you fight against intimate partner violence, or you dissent against the under-representation or stereotyping of women and other marginalized genders in the media; you work for women\u2019s autonomous right to their sexual and reproductive health, or you work for the rights of women with disabilities, Dalit women, trans*<\/a> people, queer women, sex workers, women with HIV, and other marginalized groups. No matter which issue you choose, it is no less important.<\/p>\n People say feminists nowadays fight for mundane issues. For example, there is a \u2018mundane\u2019 issue I regularly have and always crib about even if I don\u2019t do anything about it. Every time I go out to eat with a male friend, be it a fine-dine restaurant, fast-food joint or a dhaba <\/em>(a roadside restaurant), I\u2019m hardly ever addressed by the servers. I\u2019m not asked what I want to eat and specifically never asked if I\u2019d like to have a (an alcoholic) drink. I have to shove my existence into the server\u2019s face: I take the cheque from the server\u2019s hand before it is automatically passed on to my male friend, or I interrupt and assert my choice of meal and drink when the two men are discussing important matters like what we are going to have for dinner. For this, my irritated friend, who thinks I\u2019m being too touchy, often tells me off. That I shouldn\u2019t \u2018waste\u2019 my feminism on such mundane issues like not being directly addressed, or on Airtel\u2019s Boss advertisement, and focus on \u2018real\u2019 issues.<\/p>\n