My Choice<\/a>\u201d. Mind you, not against Homi Adajania, the director of this video, who, coincidentally, has a Y-chromosome; not even against the leading fashion magazine, which came up with this video as a message promoting the empowerment of women. No, the Internet erupted with Tweets and Facebook posts targeting Deepika and the other women who starred in it. The video was blamed for being too shallow. Everything about it earned comments \u2013 from the fact that the video featured beautiful, slim women being criticized, to the addition of rural women being termed \u2018a failed attempt\u2019, to Deepika\u2019s bra strap being visible being indecent, to the inclusion of \u2018sex outside marriage\u2019 as a promotion of infidelity and to the use of the term \u2018I\u2019m infinite\u2019 as philosophical mumbo-jumbo. Parodies of the video flooded my Facebook timeline. The messages were misogynistic: it appeared as if being slim was a sin in the very discourse where Aishwarya Rai was body-shamed for gaining weight post delivery; it appeared as if empowerment was only for rural women and women in our urban areas are all already empowered; it appeared as if Deepika choosing to display her back is indecent but her cleavage being focused on by newspapers is not; it appeared as if \u2018sex outside marriage\u2019 does not happen in the rich-in-family-values country that is India and it was sure that the \u2018infinite\u2019 was not enough! And of all these, the winner of the many controversies was \u2018sex outside marriage\u2019.<\/p>\n\u2018Empowerment\u2019 is not ONLY about \u2018sex\u2019, they said. It got me thinking. If \u2018sexuality\u2019 were really a non-issue in our country, would this hullaballoo ever take place?<\/p>\n
Extra-marital sex is considered the sure-shot way of breaking a family. But, wait\u2026is it really considered so? Bollywood abounds with movies where \u2018pati-vrata<\/em>\u2019 wives (chaste, devoted and loyal wives) \u2018forgive\u2019 their husband\u2019s mild sojourns with other women because you know, men will be men! Most Bollywood women having extra-marital sex also end up feeling \u2018guilt\u2019 and \u2018remorse\u2019 and return to their beloved husbands. So, a little bit of sex outside marriage is shown (even if in a bad light) but there must always be a reunion with the family. Bollywood gives a clear indication of what the Indian society\u2019s stance is \u2013 in any case, the family structure has to be maintained. One cannot ponder if the woman\u2019s sexual needs are satisfied within that family structure or even if she is allowed to say no to sex. Even if she is unhappy, disrespected or abused, the family must be preserved. No matter what, extramarital sex is a great threat.<\/p>\nOf course, in some instances, we can sanction extra marital sex in the way some groups legalize polygamy (and continue to prohibit polyandry). It then BECOMES the family structure, rather than breaking it. So what if all this translates to a slight tilt of balance towards men? The family has to remain together. So what if the woman has to bear a slightly higher burden? Men are men and everyone must deal with it!<\/p>\n
In an ideal world, every couple would deal with \u2018extra-marital\u2019 sex differently. Some may consider it cheating, some may not. For all we know, \u2018sex\u2019 is not the only way one can \u2018cheat on\u2019 one\u2019s partner. But, this is not an ideal world. Here, \u2018choice\u2019 is an alien concept, especially for one half of the world\u2019s population. And so, each time a woman talks about making choices for herself just like a man can, her choice itself falls under the scanner and the whole point of \u2018being able to choose\u2019 is shoved under the carpet. Women who question this are criticized for male-bashing.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, women-bashing continues!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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