When I first met you,
I felt like I was being wrapped in the sheets of my childhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I felt like I\u2019ve known you all my life.
But still confused like the child in those sheets,
\u2019cause I didn\u2019t understand why I am attracted to you,
given my asexuality,
given my gender-confirming label.
What\u2019s this unquantifiable
force of attraction that pulls me to you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s You? The Self?
What\u2019s Self? The spirit?
What\u2019s spirit? The soul?
What\u2019s soul?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why do I love you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was reminded recently in my Islam,
about a realm,
void of gender,
sex,
sexuality,
labels,
our terrestrial corporeal vessel.
A realm called Alam Al Dhar \u2013 the realm of particles,
realm of souls\/particles\/waves\/light\/not-a-body\/label-free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were waves of light beyond the classics of physics,
Waves of pure entities that stood in front of a god,
testifying we are one and alike,
and between us, not all met and matched.
But you and I, our waves clasped one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There, I know our waves mingled, This attraction to you now makes sense. Then came the first punishment for the original sin, On earth we all carry that sin and that punishment. Skinny\/masculine\/hetero\/gender binary\/sexual\/diversity\/struggle\/conform\/conform\/conform.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The list goes on and on and on\u2026 Cover image by Md Mahdi<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Why do I love you? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":137,"featured_media":29279,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3401,5351],"tags":[5357,368,66,121,26,4247,5356,1001,71,5355,48,1912,4791,99,5353,68,25,1675],"class_list":{"0":"post-29278","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-fiction-poetry","8":"category-the-self-and-sexuality","9":"tag-alam-al-dhar","10":"tag-asexuality","11":"tag-desire","12":"tag-feminism","13":"tag-gender","14":"tag-gender-fluidity","15":"tag-identity-beyond-labels","16":"tag-lgbtqia","17":"tag-love","18":"tag-love-and-identity","19":"tag-pleasure","20":"tag-queer-love","21":"tag-queer-poetry","22":"tag-relationships","23":"tag-self-and-sexuality","24":"tag-sex","25":"tag-sexualities","26":"tag-spirituality"},"menu_order":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/137"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29278"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29278\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29280,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29278\/revisions\/29280"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
uniting their peaks and troughs,
we fell in love,
before the toxic force majeure<\/em> was imposed on us:
Gender\/ conformity\/body\/sex\/labels\/sexuality\/social\/built-in\/imbibed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s the same gut feeling that pushes us away
from a person with a \u2018bad vibe\u2019.
There, we also met waves that didn\u2019t match our Hertz.
But you and I, we roamed around as beaming particles,
lawless,
boundlessly floating,
connected,
compatible,
loving,
carefree,
uncensored,
un-policed,
raw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No, not the banned to earth one,
that came later.
This punishment was \u2013
our Adam and Eve, they of the naked bodies,
partook of the fruit of the tree,
\u2013 they became aware of their bodies,
the construction of labels was born.
Tree\/sin\/awareness\/body\/original\/labels\/gender\/true\/punishment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We didn\u2019t do ourselves a favour, imposing labels.
We don\u2019t see the waves that we are.
Now, we struggle with tags, pierced into our bodies,
scarring our souls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am tired and all I want
is to love you
like the beaming waves
we once were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n