{"id":28660,"date":"2025-10-15T13:49:54","date_gmt":"2025-10-15T08:19:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/?p=28660"},"modified":"2025-10-15T13:49:56","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T08:19:56","slug":"all-the-quiet-between-us","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/all-the-quiet-between-us\/","title":{"rendered":"All the Quiet Between Us"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We are trained to see friendship as secondary love, but what if it is the first?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"A<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

There is always a distance before friendship \u2013 a soft, unspeaking space where eyes hesitate longer than language allows. In this stillness, affection is embryonic. This is the distance before touch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I lift my camera to capture the red hands before me. The skin, a vibrant crimson, speaks of life and stories untold. These hands pulse with intimacy, stained with the essence of passion. I wonder about the bodies they\u2019ve touched and the stories they hold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"a<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In his novels, Bukowski speaks about the recurring emptiness of sexual escapades, where despite having many lovers, he remains emotionally distant and alone. A quote often attributed to him, without clear origins of publication, goes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe problem is, we look for someone to grow old together with, while the secret is to find someone to stay a child with.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"a<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But what if the origins of the child are trauma-ridden?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was proof that I had not always been completely alone in this world. But I think I was also holding on to the loss, to the emptiness of the house itself, as though to affirm that it was better to be alone than to be stuck with people who were supposed to love you yet couldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 Ottessa Moshfegh, 2018, My Year of Rest and Relaxation.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"a<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"The<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Loneliness is the origin of all longing. The once broken child, now a socially dysfunctional sexually deviant adult, moves through empty streets, returning home to a dimly lit bed with rumpled sheets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n \u201cWe look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory.\u201d
\n
\u2013 Louise Gl\u00fcck, 1996, Nostos<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"Shadow<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

When cognition is weak, you are directionless, and yet, the desire to be understood runs strong. This is where homosocial relationships serve as conduits of repair. Same-sex relationships that are not sexual become deeply intimate, where social bonds formed within the group, provide a space for emotional support and connection that may not be as readily available in heterosexual relationships. Bodies leaning into the same light, not seeking union but understanding. This is the sensuality of shared solitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you\u2019ve been ruined.
\u2013 Ocean Vuong, 2019, On Earth We\u2019re Briefly Gorgeous<\/em>, p. 119<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\"A<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Girlcrush: Imagine the way now her skin glows in the soft light. A warm, inviting hue that makes you want to reach out and touch it. Her hair covered by her khimar holds an allure of its own. Her skin catching the sunlight, shimmers withhints of gold and deep chestnut. The line between friendship and longing blurs. When you\u2019ve starved long enough, touch feels like language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMake no mistake \u2013 there is no such thing as a straight woman.\u201d
\u2013 Amruta Patil, 2008, Kari<\/em>, p. 59<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cover image by Sanandita Chakraborty<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We are trained to see friendship as secondary love, but what if it is the first?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":593,"featured_media":28672,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4968,7],"tags":[66,5022,3393,26,616,1937,2393,5021],"class_list":{"0":"post-28660","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-friendship-and-sexuality-2","8":"category-visualcorner","9":"tag-desire","10":"tag-emotional-connection","11":"tag-female-friendship","12":"tag-gender","13":"tag-intimacy","14":"tag-loneliness","15":"tag-queer-reading","16":"tag-tenderness"},"menu_order":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28660","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/593"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28660"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28660\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28681,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28660\/revisions\/28681"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28672"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}