{"id":24873,"date":"2023-05-17T10:56:00","date_gmt":"2023-05-17T05:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/?p=24873"},"modified":"2023-05-19T10:09:43","modified_gmt":"2023-05-19T04:39:43","slug":"laughter-is-the-best-kink","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/laughter-is-the-best-kink\/","title":{"rendered":"Laughter is the Best Kink"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Tread gently. This article contains descriptions and visuals of BDSM activities.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hear that cracking of the whip? It sounds like music to someone\u2019s ear. That blade that sends a shiver of fear down your spine? It makes another stand upright and come alive. From the outside, the world of kink can look like a place where a smile would be a rare occurrence. After all, smirks, screams and tears do fit better when the picture contains whips, canes, and chains. But come closer if you dare. Let go of your inhibitions, your fears, your judgements, and biases, and take a real, long look. Our tenebrous world isn\u2019t only one of grimaces; it\u2019s also one of giggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In April 2023, a non-funded activist group called Kinky Collective<\/a> organised a national kink festival in India, inviting people to come to witness this world for themselves. Held over three sunny days in Goa, Kink Con was, to put it simply, a riot to attend. There were panels on every abstruse topic under the sun \u2013 polyamory, mental health, LGBTQIA+, feminism \u2013 with panellists trying to elaborate on how kink interplays with these in their lives. There were skits, carefully designed to create discourse on our basic understanding of consent; a fashion show that celebrated identity in a way never seen before; a one-of-a-kind auction with underwear and kinky services on the menu. And then there were workshops on activities like whipping, rope bondage, needle play, trampling, breath play, with seasoned kinksters playing professor, giving detailed lectures on the size, thickness, and material of their favoured \u2018torture\u2019 implements. Of course, there were practical demonstrations too \u2212 on, allow me to add, very willing, eager participants \u2013 which only took place after our professors elucidated every safety procedure that the class needed to note when playing on their own, twice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I\u2019m getting ahead of myself; this is no way to take you through the<\/em> event of my life. Let me rewind to the beginning. Strap up, you\u2019re in for a ride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back to the Start<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

As I entered this gorgeous beachside resort in India\u2019s very own Las Vegas, having spent a long 7 hours belting out tunes to old Hindi songs with two friends in a car, my jaw dropped. Sitting in the resort\u2019s restaurant were a grand total of 84 kinksters eating breakfast. If I had to talk about the diversity, I\u2019d use the metaphor of an ice cream shop serving gender, sexuality, and personality. We had one of every flavour (and combination) in attendance. Now, the night had taken its toll on me, so I was quiet as the group did the registrations, but my mind was clear. I had one singular agenda for the next three days \u2212 I was going to collect (and dissect) every laugh I could find in this festival.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a firm belief that under all our layers, kinksters are irreverent souls who like to play games with ideas that the rest of the world considers sacrosanct. Essentially, we\u2019re jesters. And as a newly minted kinkster out in the wild, at, by some insane stroke of luck, the country\u2019s first nationwide kink festival, I will go far enough to say that I felt a moral obligation to unearth just how people play these games in practice. Luckily for me, I got a taste at the first workshop itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clownin\u2019 Around<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

After a morning of introductions, registrations, and panels, three kinksters took centre-stage for the first participatory activity at Kink Con, a rope workshop. Two kinksters chose rope bunnies (a term used to describe the person getting tied up), while another decided to go the atmanirbhar <\/em>(self-sufficient) way, circling a long strap of rope around his torso and down his left leg. A grin crept up my face as I watched his deft handiwork, marvelling at the amount of time it may have taken him to master his technique. Surrounded by a group as enthralled as I was, this Dom was chattering away to glory without missing a knot on his rope work. \u201cYou know, I have to give kudos to my rope bunny\u2019s patience,\u201d he told us. \u201cThere have been so many times where I\u2019ve had to stop in the middle of a scene, telling them \u2018Hold on, wait a minute, I need to revise.\u2019\u201d Of course, as intended, the image of someone having to wait half-tied up, mid-scene, as their Dom scoured YouTube to revise his knots got me and my fellow voyeurs sniggering.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Image Credit: Photo by Nemo<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Soon after, I moved to watch a gender-fluid Domme practising their art on another participant, this one in a seated position, with rope fastening their feet, hands, and neck together. \u201cDoes it hurt?\u201d they asked kindly. Upon receiving a negative response, they cheekily followed it up with, \u201cDo you want it to hurt?\u201d As I watched further, I realised this Domme was clearly a bratty one. To explain, in BDSM terminology, the term \u2018brat\u2019 is used to describe someone who is on the spectrum of being naughty, playful and defiant during kinky interactions. Though the term is typically used for subs, many Doms and switches also use it to express their style of play. Case in point: this bratty Domme tied up another submissive brat in a remarkable hogtie that included rope going around her neck. Placing the ends of the rope in her hands, they said, \u201cI know you\u2019re a brat. You want the control. I\u2019m giving you the control in your hands.\u201d Of course, the brat used this \u2018control\u2019 to choke herself further, making the Domme and everyone else around giggle at her antics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next day, a demo on whipping was even more insightful on the importance of wit, banter, and laughter within play. The Dom conducting this demo began by whipping a sub\u2019s back a few times. When he stopped, she turned around to tell him she could take more. The Dom looked out to the crowd, saying, \u201cI\u2019m not doing a good job. Shame on me.\u201d As the crowd burst out laughing, he got another sub to stand next to the first, cracking his whip on their backs in succession as the crowd held its breath. Once he was done, he whispered to the subs, \u201cDone with your warmup?\u201d making both of them giggle out loud as he turned back to the crowd to declare, \u201cI\u2019m telling you guys, I\u2019m really bad at this. I suck!\u201d As expected, this demo ended in an uproar of applause and laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Image Credit: Photo by IWonderWhy<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

My favourite event of the festival took place on Day 3 \u2013 the needle demo. After all, I was one of the volunteers for this one. As I watched the Dom working on me thread needles into my chest, the slight smile on his very serious, focused face had my face splitting into a wide grin. I couldn\u2019t resist, I had to pull his leg, cheekily asking, \u201cYou like greedy girls, don\u2019t you?\u201d just before he pierced a needle through my nipple. I did pay for my slight later though when I didn\u2019t want my needles taken out even after the demo was done. Telling me I deserved a hug, he pulled me into one, ensuring that the needles pressed down into my skin as he chuckled in my ear. \u201cWhy, don\u2019t you like it when I laugh?\u201d he said rhetorically. Readers, to say I swooned in response would be an understatement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t just the workshops that testified to the whimsical nature of kink. The fashion show, for one, was a clear showcase. Among my most loved outfits of the night was a female Domme dressed like a zamindar<\/em>, complete with a kurta, dhoti and a penis. Surprised? We weren\u2019t, we were too busy applauding her ingenuity of strapping on a strap-on to serve her purpose. Another favourite was a male-bodied person walking the ramp in a leather kilt, a harness and a ball gag paired with attached nipple clamps. As he reached the edge of the ramp, we chortled as we saw a larger-than-life cloth penis drop down from under his kilt. It was only later that I found out, this person owned a tie that had a penis printed on it \u2013 he just decided to fasten it around his waist to complete his look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brats: The Superheroes of Kink<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

On Day 3, I also had a particularly emotional moment following a panel discussing mental health and kink. The topic is dear to me, and a tale relayed by Jahan* \u2013 one of the panellists, and a co-founder of Kinky Collective \u2013 left me choking back tears. I think he noticed something in my face, because, once the panel was over, he came right to me, pulling me into a hug as I wept a river into his shirt. Once he noticed my sobs turning to sniffles, he held me in front of him and asked me seriously, \u201cDo you know what dacryphilia is?\u201d As I looked at him confused, he explained, \u201cIt\u2019s when someone is turned on by tears.\u201d In two sentences, this man turned my sobs into fits of giggles that lasted longer than my tears had. And I remain forever grateful to him for it.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Image Credit: Photo by J Walker<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cSee, life is very serious generally,\u201d Jahan told me later. \u201cSo why not bring some fun into the erotic?\u201d He\u2019s clearly not alone in this thought process. \u201cIt\u2019s called \u2018play\u2019, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Zorro*, another kinkster reminded me, referring to a term commonly used to describe a kinky interaction. \u201c[So many of us] are forgetting that it doesn\u2019t have to be serious, we don\u2019t have to bring all our troubles and worries into it. It\u2019s just play. We\u2019re playing, like kids do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humour is key to enjoyment, to pleasure. And brats, whether they be Doms or subs, seem to have mastered the art of employing it. Of course, as always, each has their own way. Zorro, for one, seems to have an adorable schoolyard approach. They prefer to be able to rib their partner, poking fun at them till they make them blush. Sarah* and Devon*, a couple engaged in a brat and brat-tamer dynamic for two years, have their own style of communication. \u201cShe throws a fit when she doesn\u2019t get what she wants. I indulge her at times, but she knows when she has to listen to me,\u201d said Devon. \u201cIt\u2019s a tone,\u201d Sarah whispered to me. \u201cI know I can push till I hear that one tone.\u201d Jahan, who identifies as a bratty switch, professes to be a \u201cnaughty Dominant\u201d when in that role. \u201cWhen I\u2019m playing with a [submissive] partner, I often find, they\u2019re usually, conventionally, accustomed to more serious, no-nonsense Dominance. [It is not the same for everyone, but] for me, power does not operate that way. I can be a complete doofus and still be in control of the situation. There have been times when I have led the sub on till they feel they can go berserk and crack any joke. And then, [I make them] realise they\u2019ve dug their own grave,\u201d he chuckled mischievously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s more to it, though. Humour can do a lot more than just create pleasure. Jahan explained, \u201cIn our country, female-bodied persons have a generational experience of abuse, violence, and violation with male-bodied persons. If I, being a male-bodied person, can create a space for them where they can laugh their heart out, immediately, a sense of safety, of comfort, develops. Then they can explore [themselves] freely, without fear. And after all, that\u2019s my job, isn\u2019t it? To help people relax. That\u2019s what I\u2019m here for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*All names have been changed to protect identity.
Individuals in the photos have given permission for the way that their face has been shown in the photos.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cover Image: IWonderWhy<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the outside, the world of kink can look like a place where a smile would be a rare occurrence. But come closer if you dare. Let go of your inhibitions, your fears, your judgements, and biases, and take a real, long look..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":464,"featured_media":24877,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,4116,8],"tags":[70,22,4041,97,4171,522,3157,576,4170,4167,4168,3111,4169,2575,48,4172,25,1673],"class_list":{"0":"post-24873","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-categories","8":"category-humour-and-sexuality-2","9":"category-voices","10":"tag-bdsm","11":"tag-body","12":"tag-bondage","13":"tag-consent","14":"tag-domination","15":"tag-fetish","16":"tag-fun","17":"tag-humour","18":"tag-kink-con","19":"tag-kinks","20":"tag-kinky-collective","21":"tag-laughter","22":"tag-masochism","23":"tag-pain","24":"tag-pleasure","25":"tag-sadism","26":"tag-sexualities","27":"tag-submission"},"menu_order":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24873","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/464"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24873"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24873\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24943,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24873\/revisions\/24943"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24873"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24873"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24873"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}