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That\u2019s the power of the classic \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke. It can transform the most mundane comment or question into something exciting and raunchy. It can elicit gasps, laughs, or groans in the most banal conversation. The true masters of \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 are those who can turn nearly any word or phrase into a double entendre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why Does it feel so good?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
The enduring appeal of the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke lies in the way it takes something that was said with no sexual connotation and turns it into something that sounds very sexual. It\u2019s a little like the misheard lyrics of popular songs<\/a>: once you\u2019ve discerned cuss words or funny phrases in a piece of music, there\u2019s no coming back. Your brain will think of the misheard lyric every time you hear the song. Try it for yourself by checking out the classic animated O Fortuna misheard lyrics video<\/a>. (Here\u2019s an original version<\/a> for those who want to put their heads right again!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you start making connections between commonplace words and phrases and their sexual undertones, it might be difficult to turn off that voice in your head. This can be seen in other running jokes on television shows, like the \u201ctitle of your sex tape\u201d joke in the show Brooklyn 99<\/em> and the salutes<\/a> between Ted and Robin on military puns on the show How I Met Your Mother<\/em>. Once the characters start finding puns under a certain theme in everyday conversations and respond to them a certain way, their brains can\u2019t seem to turn it off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What makes something funny? Out of the many theories about the origins and nature of humour, the theory of incongruity<\/a> posits that humour can be generated by juxtaposing seemingly incompatible concepts and by overturning peoples\u2019 expectations. As an example, a paraprosdokian<\/a> is a figure of speech in which a statement has two parts, and the second part changes the meaning of the first part in an unexpected way. A classic paraprosdokian is satirist Groucho Marx\u2019s widely quoted: \u201cOne morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas, I don’t know.\u201d The second sentence makes the listener reframe or reinterpret the first part by presenting a very different meaning, which is often funnier than the original. This is similar to the way the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 format works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Saying \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 after someone says something with a potential double meaning turns the original statement into a paraprosdokian by changing its meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This surprises the audience and forces them to go back and reinterpret the statement in a completely new way. When you hear a \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke, you are confused for a moment, and then you put it together. Going from not understanding to understanding the joke is a gratifying process. Humour is generated by this very act of successfully reinterpreting the first statement and resolving the incongruity posed by the second statement. When the listeners of a \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke suddenly understand the double meaning revealed by the phrase, they laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n What I find most interesting about the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke is that it isn\u2019t intrinsically funny. What makes it a joke is its ability to turn something else<\/em> into a sex joke. So, to deliver this joke you need to add it to something said by someone else. And the more unexpected your double entendre, the better the joke lands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Humour is extremely subjective. Both the choice of making a particular joke and its reception depend entirely on the cultural context. After all, the kinds of jokes people crack and laugh at vary tremendously based on where they are, who is listening, and what is considered appropriate. Of course, some jokes are near-universally considered distasteful \u2013 think dead baby jokes, rape jokes, scatological jokes, and so on. The \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke is a relatively safe type of sexual joke as it uses allusion, which is often considered a higher form of wit than just crass or graphic words and imagery. Layering one\u2019s explicit message in a pun or euphemism helps one avoid any appearance of impropriety. Since the audience isn\u2019t being subjected to anything overtly sexual and hence possibly offensive, this type of joke tends to be more socially acceptable than explicit jokes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s take an example. The \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 approach would report a character exclaiming that \u201cit\u201d was \u201ctoo big\u201d. What was too big? What does \u201ctoo big\u201d mean? What does \u201cit\u201d imply? These things are left unsaid. But in this format, a penis joke can be made without even using the word penis. The most common \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 jokes rely heavily on popular slang and euphemisms for sexual terms such as tight, wet, hard, come, position, blow, ride, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the 2000s, the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke was popularised by the problematic and popular American sitcom The Office<\/em>. It made its first appearance in the second episode of the second season \u2018Sexual Harassment\u2019, which aired in September 2005, and became a running joke used by several characters<\/a> over the course of the show. Most uses of the joke on the show are deeply problematic, and many can be considered workplace harassment as they are often used by men in positions of power to demean their female colleagues. Male characters typically crack the joke on women and revel in their discomfort. For example, when Pam, the receptionist, tells him that her mother\u2019s coming, her boss Michael Scott gleefully cracks the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke and is oblivious to the unease he causes Pam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It can be argued that in The Office<\/em>, the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke format is little more than a clever device used by the characters to get away with misogyny disguised as humour. By hiding their suggestive, lewd comments about women and their obsession with sex behind this joke, they conveniently absolve themselves of the responsibility of perpetuating offensive stereotypes about women. And by claiming to be funny, they try to get away with saying sexually charged things in the workplace to a non-consenting audience. As a 2013 research paper<\/a> puts it, \u201cThough the show\u2019s satire does effectively ridicule facets of patriarchal authority and hegemonic masculinity in the American workplace\u2026 the lack of repercussions for offending characters and stereotypical portrayals of women in the workplace undercut the The Office<\/em>\u2019s transgressive potential.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke format predates The Office<\/em> by several decades. The first-ever \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke with this exact phrasing appeared in the Saturday Night Live spin-off film Wayne\u2019s World<\/em> in a 1992 episode. Interestingly, a version of the joke is also found in Hitchcock\u2019s 1929 film Blackmail<\/em>. That\u2019s not all \u2013 the joke format goes back even further<\/a> to the early 19th century, when it was structured as an exchange between an actress and a bishop. Though even Hitchcock\u2019s version of the joke specifies the characters as a girl speaking to a soldier, its 21st-century avatar has no characters at all, simply a mysterious \u201cshe\u201d who seems to say a lot of things. The use of a woman character in a sexual manner in this joke format has led to a lot of debate about whether it is inherently a sexist trope. In a 2017 essay<\/a>, two researchers argued that \u201cthe popular joke, \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 is a symbolic representation of rape that contributes to and insulates rape culture.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And it\u2019s true to an extent \u2013 this joke can be abused in real life much like in The Office<\/em>, with people, often men, falling over themselves to make the joke without much concern for how it will be received. Sexual humour can be dehumanising and distancing in a variety of contexts: if there\u2019s a significant power difference between the speaker and the listener, if the listener has not consented to it, if it is used to punch down instead of up, and so on. Unfortunately, the overuse of \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 has made it, at least in some circles, a nuisance. Men use it to act cool to impress women, teenagers use it to be shocking, adults use it just for the heck of it, and know-it-alls looking to hijack someone\u2019s point with a witticism use it just to look smart.<\/p>\n\n\n Nevertheless, the joke became extremely common in the 2000s before it fell out of fashion in some sense. By 2010, GQ<\/a> was advising readers to drop the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke, and a 2014 article<\/a> in The Atlantic<\/em>, tracing the joke\u2019s rise and fall, called it the \u201cbest bad joke\u201d. It\u2019s plain to see how easily this joke format can become a terrible one if overused or used incorrectly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Though it\u2019s still going strong, at least in 2020s India, the \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 joke is not without its perils. After all, sexual jokes, whether implicit or explicit, always carry risks. This one can be seen as distasteful, juvenile, or even boring if one goes for low-hanging fruit. And what happens when you use a reference that your audience does not quite understand? Do you fill the awkward silence with an explanation of your joke? Do you hastily change the subject?<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you crack a not-very-obvious kind of suggestive joke, it will likely leave some people smiling knowingly and others looking lost. In this way, the joke signals being \u201cin the know\u201d. This makes it a great ice-breaking tool. Sociologists and psychologists agree<\/a> that humour serves the function of strengthening the bonds between those who laugh together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At my last job, I was hired around the same time as several others, and so most of my colleagues and I were new to the workplace. I remember how some of us bonded quickly over a week of intense \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 jokes. It was impossible to get through a single conversation without encountering at least one \u2018that\u2019s\u2019 what she said\u2019 joke, which would cause everyone to burst into laughter and come out of work mode for a few moments. At times, one joke would set off an avalanche of sexually suggestive statements in rapid repartee. The sheer delight of saying something salacious and having others appreciate it and respond accordingly cemented our friendship. Of course, this was done with full consent and in small groups in which everyone participated in cracking jokes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In a sexually repressed society like ours, \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 jokes allow people to talk about sex in an indirect way. This can be quite useful, especially when you\u2019re trying to figure out where the line really is in terms of acceptability. You can use this joke format to check how far you\u2019re allowed to go when talking about sex, and you can do so without worrying about offending anyone as you\u2019re using allusion instead of explicit imagery. Just observing others\u2019 reactions to this joke can indicate what is acceptable in your group or setting. Being able to test the waters in this manner can make it easier for people to discuss these topics more openly in the future. As scholar Joseph Boskin put it in his book<\/a> Rebellious Laughter<\/em>, a joke type \u201ccontains and reveals people\u2019s feelings and attitudes\u201d. And since humour hides or disguises people\u2019s feelings, examining it can reveal people\u2019s true attitudes under their more traditional appearance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whenever a friend says \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019, I smile no matter how cringe-worthy the usage is (and it is quite often, believe me). This joke is a reminder of the truth that underneath all the social protocols and modesty, many people do frequently think about sex, and many others don\u2019t quite mind hearing about it. But it\u2019s one thing to use this joke among consenting friends, and quite another to weaponise it to score points at the expense of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The use of humour is extremely gendered<\/a> \u2013 scholars agree that men are conditioned to tell jokes and they feel entitled to their audience\u2019s laughter even when making bad jokes, while women are conditioned to laugh at men\u2019s jokes to appeal to their ego. Gender is performative, and humour is an important behavioural cue of this performance. In fact, making people laugh is a considered a sign of masculinity, and that means humour can also become a tool for toxic masculinity, male aggression, and violence<\/a>. After all, thinly veiling one\u2019s problematic ideas as jokes is a popular tactic to get away with saying offensive things that perpetuate oppression. This explains why jokes are often used as a tool for aggression directed at women<\/a> and other marginalized groups: think wife jokes, sexist WhatsApp forwards, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Like any other popular joke format that relies on puns, the \u201cthat\u2019s what she said\u201d joke can be wielded to hijack the conversation and make others uncomfortable. When you crack this joke without the consent of your audience, you are in danger of them seeing your joke, and by extension, you, as presumptive, sexist, unprofessional, immature, attention seeking, and even creepy. And they won\u2019t be wrong to think that. We don\u2019t need to imagine what would happen if a male boss were to use sexual humour, including \u2018that\u2019s what she said\u2019 jokes, to a captive audience of his younger and significantly junior women colleagues, who felt unable to say anything to stop him\u2013it plays out several times in the show The Office<\/em>, which popularised the joke and remains a fan favourite. It cannot be excused as just \u201clocker room talk\u201d or \u201cmen being men\u201d or \u201ca harmless joke\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As with most things, the \u2018that\u2019s what she said joke\u2019 must be used mindfully. Don\u2019t just focus on your own pleasure. Think about others too. Ooooh, that\u2019s what she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cover Image: Image by Mohamed Hassan<\/a> from Pixabay<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You don\u2019t even realise what you\u2019ve said until someone in the group, quick as lightning, hits you with the rejoinder, \u201cThat\u2019s what she said!\u201d As you\u2019re trying to make sense of what just happened, the group dissolves into giggles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":362,"featured_media":24863,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4116,8],"tags":[4019,4158,581,26,576,4117,3111,373,1755,579,4156,1757,25,4159],"class_list":{"0":"post-24862","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-humour-and-sexuality-2","8":"category-voices","9":"tag-discomfort","10":"tag-double-entendre","11":"tag-funny","12":"tag-gender","13":"tag-humour","14":"tag-jokes","15":"tag-laughter","16":"tag-misogyny","17":"tag-sex-jokes","18":"tag-sexism","19":"tag-sexual-connotations","20":"tag-sexual-humour","21":"tag-sexualities","22":"tag-the-office"},"menu_order":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24862"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24862\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24931,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24862\/revisions\/24931"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24863"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Let\u2019s go deeper<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
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But did you like it?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
The first time is always special<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
![\"Image](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/cyrus-chew-Dl39g6QhOIM-unsplash-525x700.jpg\")
If you\u2019re going to do it, please be gentle<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
We’re about to finish<\/h6>\n\n\n\n