Pity I didn\u2019t take a swing at the angel-faced joker when I was 5 and could, and now I\u2019m an adult and I can\u2019t!
Another half-century should put me at what is often referred to as older adult, so my swinging days of punch, playground or person are supposed to be done.
A stereotype that a sewing and embroidery circle of women would laugh away, with a \u2018Fuckety fuckety fuck fuck fuck\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before this Issue In Focus article on Humour and Sexuality rolls out further, we are going to position ourselves with some care, no pun intended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- Humour takes many forms, plays many roles and impacts people differently.<\/li>
- If it isn\u2019t funny, that doesn\u2019t mean that it isn\u2019t humour.<\/li>
- What it does mean is that the humour has failed for someone somewhere, or it\u2019s just a plain fail.<\/li>
- If it causes someone grief, pain, trauma, it is not funny. Stop it.<\/li>
- If it attacks the dignity, identity and sense of self of another, stop it.<\/li>
- This is true for all persons, humans, non-human creatures and the planet.<\/li>
- It\u2019s okay to be a woke snowflake<\/a>, if that means you are aware of and alert to issues of injustice, if you are sensitive about things that cause you or another, to feel bullied, vulnerable or threatened.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Back to embroidery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you think embroidery, you think sweet little grandmothers stitching and embroidering pretty stuff on matty cloth, flowers and ladybirds and butterflies? Well let\u2019s expand the mind! There is a group called PEG (Profanity Embroidery Group) Whitstable, and you\u2019ll find them on Facebook<\/a> and Instagram<\/a> with what some people will consider unique comic art that makes a strong statement, primarily challenging stereotypes. Sharing screenshots of a couple of their Insta posts here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n ![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_1-1-324x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_2-1-325x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n(Screenshots from the Instagram account @pegwhitstable<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So. Embroidery. And appliqu\u00e9 with duster and lace.
They\u2019re saying fuck.
Is it humour?
For some.
Does the fuckety have anything to do with sexuality?
Yes.
And does the kid who fell for the angel-faced kid (and therefore for the crayon prank) have anything to do with sexuality?
Yes.
Sexuality is about who we are, how we choose to live and experience our lives and relationships with ourselves, each other, and the world, at very core levels, and across age groups.<\/p>\n\n\n\nHumour and sexuality stay connected in multiple ways that include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- the subject of humour that often borrows vocabulary as well as content from sex and sexuality<\/li>
- the gender and sexual identity of the person behind the humour<\/li>
- the people responding to it, who often respond from their life location, which includes what they feel about gender and sexuality, and their own identity.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Is it funny? Is it okay? Yes? No? Why?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
Humour, either openly, or thinly camouflaged, is a combination of the intellectual, spiritual, emotional, physical nature of being. So quite often, anger, anxiety, aggression, wisdom, love, frustration, wickedness, cruelty, sarcasm and other feelings are a big part. Humour is the result of many things that include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- Timing<\/li>
- Context<\/li>
- Subject matter<\/li>
- The presentation itself (doesn\u2019t always have to be words, art, or slap-stick, could sometimes be a situation)<\/li>
- The presenter, if there is one, but there is not always a presenter<\/li>
- And the person, human or non-human, that finds a thing humorous. Yes, non-human too. Animal lovers \u2013 who\u2019ve experienced a cat\u2019s sneak attack that gives you a fright or a dog that barks at you so you give it treats to shut it up because you\u2019re on a phone call with the boss \u2013 they know this lot has a very sharp funny bone.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Humour is also really complex. Sometimes you laugh at a thing you wish you hadn\u2019t laughed at, sometimes you\u2019re silent about something you think is funny but you don\u2019t want to appear to have enjoyed the humour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And sometimes when everyone\u2019s laughing but you\u2019re not, because you don\u2019t get it, you croak up a laugh and leave hoping they didn\u2019t notice. Unless you muscle up and ask \u2018What\u2019s funny?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would a young person, say not from Whitstable UK, wearing a t-shirt that says \u2018Bearded for her pleasure<\/a>\u2019 and made in India, wear a scarf that dadi<\/em> or nani<\/em> embroidered that said \u2018Screw the patriarchy. Wash your own fucking pants\u2019?
Would dadi<\/em> embroider this?
Would nani<\/em>?
Or the embroidery teacher who may be anything between 18 and 80?<\/p>\n\n\n\nAnd if the young person, who may also possess a t-shirt that says \u2018I\u2019m not a gynecologist but I know a cunt when I see one<\/a>\u2019 \u2013 be proud, as proud, of the dadi-nani<\/em> embroidered scarf as they are of their t-shirt?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These are hypothetical questions and there are no right answers. In answering them, one cannot assume that all those who respond will have the same responses. There are stereotypes and there are those who adhere to them and those who nudge and shove and poke holes through them, including very likely, some nanis <\/em>and dadis<\/em> who do not live in Whitstable but may laugh from a space of the lives they\u2019ve lived in India, and the things they feel, at a piece of embroidery that says \u2018Home Sweet Fucking Home<\/a>\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are those who may wear the t-shirt that says \u2018Bearded for her pleasure\u2019 on transitioning, or biologically assigned female at birth, bodies. Read this again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you put everything together and toss it up in the air, any combination of *laugh and not-funny, *possible and less possible, *it\u2019s okay here, but not okay there, *funny for them \/ us, *insensitive towards them \/ us, *culturally appropriate \/ inappropriate \u2013 will happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When comedian Jeeya Sethi posts a video that includes this: \u201cWhen I was younger, I wanted to play tennis. Alright, but my parents were like, nahi, Badminton. So I played badminton. Because that was the only time I could publicly play with a cock. And then after banging the cock for a good 2 hours, I could change it for a brand new cock,” it gets some strong reactions<\/a>. And laughter is very much amongst those reactions. So when she takes on members of her audience saying they look too young to be married, young like sperm<\/a>, and they love it, it is okay to say she\u2019s pushing buttons and doing a good job with that!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The gender bias business shows up in humour a lot, consciously and subconsciously. In this article<\/a>, the writer says, \u201cMale comedians performing in their track pants seems casual and viby and women doing that seem indecent. There is this unsaid policing that goes on how to behave.\u201d Comedian Aditi Mittal as reported in the same article, says she was \u201cstill introduced onstage as the \u2018best tits in the business\u2019 even though I showed up in a fucking pantsuit\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is #toxichumour ?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
The writer of this article on toxic humour<\/a> says, “It is not uncommon for people in India to discuss, dissect, and judge how a woman looks. Everything from the color of your skin to your height and your weight can and will be subjected to scrutiny and assailed without mercy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is a tradition of using humour to cover or to express cruelty, bullying and oppression, as has been much discussed in the context of rape culture and rape jokes, ragging, violence and abuse. This has been called out so often, it should no longer exist, but despite laws and media coverage, this kind of humour does exist. It is however easier to identify, while it may still not be easy to take an open stand against it. Except as a group, so communities and society as a whole stand together, and in that there is power and a counter-narrative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A quick look at ragging<\/a> for example reveals media reports as recent as in the past year<\/a>, right up to the time of writing this article<\/a>. This is despite India\u2019s UGC anti-ragging regulations<\/a> having been articulated and come into force well over a decade ago. According to this article<\/a>, \u201cA total of 511 complaints of ragging or hazing were reported from across the country\u2019s colleges in 2021, compared to 219 in 2020, according to the University Grants Commission\u2019s anti-ragging cell. Experts said inaction and underreporting by college authorities cause ragging incidents to flourish despite laws against it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So when a cop, Shalini Chauhan, goes undercover<\/a> to bust a ragging ring in the MGM Medical College, Indore, we need to applaud, it\u2019s cause for celebration. There is a sense of humour in this description<\/a> by the officer in charge of the police station \u201cShalini, who looks younger than her age, was put to work at the college canteen, where discussions take place\u201d. One could imagine that this was funny for the police personnel at the station, and a little less funny for the medical students who were suspended from college.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet there are still those who consider ragging a form of humorous fun. In this article from 2017<\/a>, the writer speaks of a study that \u201cfound that as many as 84.3% of students did not complain to the college authorities. Another startling revelation is that close to a third of the students (28%) found ragging to be fun and an exercise in bonding with seniors.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rape should have no place in an article on humour, so it\u2019s really not funny that it does. Rape culture in film with dialogues like these<\/a>, one among many if you had the stomach to do a quick search, \u201cBalaatkar Se Yaad Aaya Meri Biwi Kaha Hai?<\/em>\u201d (Translates to – \u201cSpeaking of rape, where is my wife?<\/a>\u201d) Or the body spray advertisement<\/a> where four men seemingly discuss the product, but the double meaning takeaway is focused on a woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then there\u2019s worstjokesever.com<\/a>
Here are a couple of samples. And the responses to them, some of which can be seen in the screenshots below, and some we\u2019ve copy-pasted from the website.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?<\/a>
I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat do blind kids and orphans have in common?<\/a>
Neither of them can see their parents.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nAnonymous [Person commenting]
Thats not funny In the slightest, just offensive!!! Whoever wrote that joke needs to grow up and act their age, and clearly they don\u2019t know the line between dark humour and just pure rudeness. normally I have a brilliant sense of humour but to someone like myself who has a visual impairment and who has been through the care system it\u2019s not funny in the slightest it\u2019s a very hard life. Just some advice Think before you post in future.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nAnonymous [Person commenting]
cry about it @anon<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_3-1-327x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_4-1-326x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\nPenny Pepper<\/a>, a writer and a disability rights activist says: \u201cDisability can be funny \u2013 just get disabled people to make the jokes.\u201d She goes on to say, \u201cWe are coming forward with our own voice \u2013 so being a cheap comedy device for others will only become less and less acceptable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Humour, rights and who\u2019s the joker?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
Penny is not from India, but Sweta Mantrii is, and Sweta has a story<\/a> that goes something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“But how do you manage to take a shower by yourself?\u201d asked the curious man, out of \u2018concern\u2019 for Sweta, who was born with spina bifida. \u201cI can\u2019t shower by myself, uncle, but a guy I know in the neighbourhood comes in the morning and we shower together,\u201d she quipped in return.<\/em><\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
She\u2019s not alone. Nidhi Goyal, disabled feminist activist from India, founder of Rising Flame<\/a>, and a comedian, has during stage performances flung this out at the audience, leaving them to deal with it:
\u201cHi, I\u2019m Nidhi Goyal, and I\u2019m blind. But so is love. So get over it!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nSweta says<\/a>, “Comedy is a medium for me to start a discussion around disability and help people see past their biases. “<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On Instagram, revivaldisabilityindia and klutzy.slut have jointly posted on non-visible disabilities in the workplace and here\u2019s their presentation, in their own words<\/a>: \u201cThrough the tool of disabled storytelling, we present to you lived experiences of different disabled individuals belonging to intersections of queerness, gender, caste and ability. #UnhideTheDisability<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_5-1-324x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nHumour is a medium for a lot of people to take on and disrupt harmful impositions of power and injustice, to visibilise what matters to those who have been side-lined and dismissed, at home, in society, in areas integral to freedom, dignity, opportunity and self-development, such as education, occupation, political voice and legal protection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\nLike this<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_6-1-324x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n\nAnd this<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_7-1-325x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\nThis description of comedian Manaal Patil\u2019s show<\/a> gives another great example of humour in the expert hands of a person with lived experience of marginalisation, who is using it to connect with audiences on large systemic and social issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy dad told me that we have a superpower,\u201d<\/em> 25-year-old Manaal Patil says, setting the tone for his show at a packed hall in Mumbai.
The punchline comes soon after.
\u201cAur wo hai hamari caste. Kyunki hum Scheduled Caste community se hai to agar tu pizza mangwaega usse pehle tereko admission mil jaega <\/em>(And that is, we are scheduled caste. He said, if you order a pizza, you will get admission in an education institution quicker than you will get the pizza).\u201d<\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\nHumour in a queer world is expanding the space in India, space where people can connect through laughter and understanding to shift the approach and strengthen resistance in the face of discrimination. This article introduces six queer artists<\/a> who, between them, cover a range of experiences that include the diversity of sexual identities, coming out, being a trans person, isolation, narratives and bridging many a gap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\nHere’s thequeernari<\/a> for example:<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_8-1-325x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n\nAnd here’s shorthairedbrownqueer<\/a> a natty dresser!<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_9-1-325x700.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\nwoke #snowflake when is it okay to laugh?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
There is a word much used today, mostly dismissively, and the word is Woke. Described variously as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n“The term ‘woke’<\/a> has been around for some time \u2013 but we’re increasingly seeing the right (and some boomers) weaponising the word in fierce political debates. They often use ‘woke’ to insult some of the social and cultural issues they believe are exaggerated.”<\/p><\/p>\n\n\n\n
The phrase \u201cwoke\u201d<\/a> and to \u201cstay woke\u201d is not new \u2014 it began appearing in the 1940s and was first used by African Americans to \u201cliterally mean becoming woken up or sensitised to issues of justice\u201d, says linguist and lexicographer Tony Thorne.<\/p><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Do woke folk laugh?
Can we laugh at woke folk?<\/p>\n\n\n\nWoke gives rise to anti-woke humour<\/a>, some of which is funny and some maybe less so, or not at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the rate we are travelling, shampoo is going to be cancelled soon so that bald people do not get offended.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why did the laundromat have all of their social media accounts cancelled?<\/em>
Because they kept telling people to separate the white from the colours.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nIs woke also snowflake?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Snowflake generally refers to people<\/a> who \u201cbelieve they are particularly unique and special (like every snowflake is different), as well as the idea of being particularly fragile \u2013 and therefore in need of protections like safer spaces.\u201d The writer goes on to shift the meaning of snowflake in this article and also says, \u201cIt\u2019s not that LGBTQ+ people \u2013 or trans and non-binary people \u2013 are snowflakes. The point is that we are all snowflakes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then we found snowflake humour<\/a>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What happened when the snowflake was told to come to work 30 minutes early.<\/em>
They literally had a melt down.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThe writer in this article<\/a> online says: \u201cNote to all humans: sometimes your joke hurts someone. If they tell you they\u2019re hurt, it\u2019s because they are. Work on your jokes, but first, work on yourself. And do not, not, not ask the hurt person to get a thicker skin or learn to get jokes better, especially if the hurt person is from a marginalized group or a group who has less political and social power than you, the joke-teller, have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They say it very well. We add our note to all humans before winding up here. With a true story first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A stray dog lay curled up under a tree, saying nothing to nobody. The writer of this article walked past to buy some milk. The dog looked up and showed a most unusual overbite with teeth coming up the side of the muzzle. This writer stopped and laughed. The dog turned its face away and hid it under its tail. Till today, when this dog comes to mind, this writer apologises. It was a mistake, it has never been repeated.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
So \u2013 addendum to note to all humans: you\u2019re not the only ones with a sense of humour or the ability to feel bullied or traumatized because someone else with more power takes a dig at you, or plays what they think is a prank but hurts you, or laughs at you. If a mean streak emerges in your humour, pat it down and dissolve it in a little compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And finally, just for joy, here\u2019s a reel from shorthairedbrownqueer<\/a> for a last laugh!<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Shikha_10.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nCover Image:<\/em> Photo by Tengyart<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Humour, either openly, or thinly camouflaged, is a combination of the intellectual, spiritual, emotional, physical nature of being. So quite often, anger, anxiety, aggression, wisdom, love, frustration, wickedness, cruelty, sarcasm and other feelings are a big part.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":102,"featured_media":24763,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4116,5],"tags":[4121,2877,4120,582,4124,581,576,580,3111,4123,4119,4122,298,3063,4125,2872],"class_list":{"0":"post-24730","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-humour-and-sexuality-2","8":"category-issueinfocus","9":"tag-assumptions","10":"tag-bias","11":"tag-comedians","12":"tag-comedy","13":"tag-embroidery","14":"tag-funny","15":"tag-humour","16":"tag-irony","17":"tag-laughter","18":"tag-sarcasm","19":"tag-sexuality-jokes","20":"tag-stand-up","21":"tag-stereotypes","22":"tag-subversion","23":"tag-toxicity","24":"tag-tropes"},"menu_order":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24730","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/102"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24730"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24730\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24835,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24730\/revisions\/24835"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24730"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24730"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24730"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}