Every year since I was 20, I\u2019ve been visiting an entirely new place on my birthday as a way of simultaneously celebrating an internal process of self-exploration.<\/p>\n
In November 2020, I turned 28 in a Vipassanna centre during an 11-day sojourn at the Mastery of the Mind and Wisdom course through meditative techniques which at their core invite us to notice, observe and acknowledge the world, ourselves and our bodies as they are,<\/strong><\/em> knowing that everything is impermanent, which is said to be the defining law of nature. Initially, the thought of choosing further isolation during an already isolating pandemic was overshadowed by the sheer joy of simply getting accepted to participate in this much talked-about meditative experience.<\/p>\n The course accepted about a quarter of the people they usually accept owing to Covid19 precautionary measures. Women had their own individual rooms, a dining hall and a park separate from men, while the main meditation hall was shared by everyone.<\/p>\n The first morning I stepped into the park, I watched the sun rise and I couldn\u2019t hold back tears of joy; my pounding heart felt so full. Was I really going to be able to stroll freely and not<\/em> worry about the sound of a man\u2019s footsteps approaching me? Was I really going to be able to walk without being acutely aware of a piercing gaze scanning every inch of my body that very often activates a flight<\/em> (avoid\/dismiss and walk away) or fight<\/em> (staring back or holding their gaze) survival response?<\/p>\n Each morning I watched death and life, in the form of earthworms shrivelled on the grass and new flowers in bloom, all arising and passing in their own time. Nothing felt rushed<\/em>; including the comfortable pace at which I walked barefoot on the grass and yet, as an Indian woman, I couldn\u2019t imagine experiencing this kind of freedom in public spaces outside of such a setting.<\/p>\n