{"id":19694,"date":"2020-08-03T09:33:30","date_gmt":"2020-08-03T04:03:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak?p=19694"},"modified":"2020-08-11T16:34:21","modified_gmt":"2020-08-11T11:04:21","slug":"do-we-dare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/do-we-dare\/","title":{"rendered":"Do we dare?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Exploring sexuality is innovative in itself. What does that mean? Well at the outset, the very fact that we are willing to explore our bodies, their sexual expression, their ability to experience pleasure in so many different ways, and that we go beyond social norms is groundbreaking in itself. It\u2019s innovative for multiple reasons. To begin with, one needs to figure out what one wants to try, to find a space in the crowded confines some of share with our joint families, to be able to masturbate without the family discovering that we are doing so, to stay quiet and still have an\u00a0 orgasm, and so on.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then comes the next level of innovation \u2013 finding compatible partners. From parties, get-togethers, casual friendly introductions, to online dating apps, no matter what methods one opts for, there\u2019s always some other innovative way to meet people.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once you have found someone who is interesting, as well as interested enough, one needs to figure out communication. Consent, negotiation, boundaries, all of this get pushed, more so when one delves into stuff beyond regular vanilla sex. Consider BDSM, safety becomes important. Consider LGBTQIA+ lives, discretion becomes important. Consider polyamory, figuring out an innovative approach to ethics and emotions becomes crucial. And then there are some really edgy sexually-nuanced lifestyles like sugar dating, travel dating etc.<\/span><\/p>\n

The question isn\u2019t whether we have options for innovations.\u00a0 The question is \u2013 do we dare? What is innovation, really? When you read the The Innovator\u2019s DNA<\/i><\/a> by world-famous innovation experts Jeff Dyer, Hal Gregerson and Clayton Christensen, you realize that innovative people have an ability to collect ideas, connect them together, create prototypes, test them and then replicate them successfully. Perhaps you\u2019re wondering why I am talking about this\u00a0 in connection with sexuality. Well, let me elaborate. I am talking about people\u2019s experiences with work, education, family, society, spirituality, cooking, BDSM, sport, polyamory, music, and many other fields, and their ability to put them together, connect the dots and create their own unique personalised flavour of sexuality. All people do this, in their own unique ways.<\/span><\/p>\n

Think about something a lot of people do \u2013 use vegetables and fruit for sensual and sexual pleasure. Something else a lot of people do \u2013 use scarves, ties, etc. for bondage, use a kitchen spatula for spanking, a feather duster for tickling, and many other such experiments with their partner(s). If not lateral thinking, what else is innovation in regards to sexuality? Of course, there is also the option to devise new ways of masturbating, using technology, remote-controlled app-operated sex toys etc. There\u2019s technology which is transforming people\u2019s ability to experience sex differently. Think of basic sex toy innovations like double-ended dildos for women who want to experience \/ experiment on sexuality with other women. And, then there are sex dolls, sex robots, and upcoming augmented-reality<\/a> experiences.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s also innovation in terms of\u00a0 dating apps and social media platforms\u00a0 which connect people with specific sexual desires, folks from the queer spectrum, folks with disabilities, people from all age-groups, kink and fetish lovers, and much else. All these innovative platforms, I\u2019ve tried, tested and felt thrilled about. I have also made sex toys or sex aids or pleasure-enhancers, call them what you will, at home. I have created floggers with leather, with shoe-laces, with draw-strings. I\u2019ve created shoe-string thongs to be worn under innerwear for constant arousal and power-play (as a reminder of my position as a submissive, and as a tool for constant tease-and-denial). I\u2019ve designed and created costume jewellery to function as symbolic collars or reminders of my D\/s dynamic with my partner(s).<\/span><\/p>\n

So, what\u2019s the point? Well, the point is simple \u2013 pleasure is as much a subject of an innovative mindset as anything else. Pleasure, whether as a product to commoditise, pleasure as commercially produced porn, pleasure as an intimate experience between partners, is all subject to innovation.<\/span><\/p>\n

The mindset is what one needs to expand. Can you play with the ambience, the combination of music, fragrance, food, sensation, smell, sound, and more, to enhance your experience? Can you bring alive new ways of connecting with your partner(s) and yourself? If yes, your sex life will always be exciting, spicy. If you use your imagination, you can innovate with simple household items \u00ad \u2013 some candles, \u00a0scent, ribbons, ice, household utensils, food, cloth of different textures, sounds, well, just about anything! Welcome to the world of innovative sexuality, if only you dare! And, by the way, what about flipping it all around, and trying a non-sexual deep-pressure back or foot or neck massage and seeing where that gets you\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Cover Image: Pixabay<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Exploring sexuality is innovative in itself. What does that mean? Well at the outset, the very fact that we are willing to explore our bodies, their sexual expression, their ability to experience pleasure in so many different ways, and that we go beyond social norms is groundbreaking in itself. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":19702,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2308,6],"tags":[70,2329,2335,48,2334],"class_list":{"0":"post-19694","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-categories","8":"category-innovations-and-sexuality","9":"category-theicolumn","10":"tag-bdsm","11":"tag-innovation-and-sexuality","12":"tag-negotiation","13":"tag-pleasure","14":"tag-sexual-expression"},"menu_order":310,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19694","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19694"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19694\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19786,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19694\/revisions\/19786"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}