{"id":19567,"date":"2020-07-01T12:42:40","date_gmt":"2020-07-01T07:12:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak?p=19567"},"modified":"2022-03-16T15:56:17","modified_gmt":"2022-03-16T10:26:17","slug":"poems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tarshi.net\/inplainspeak\/poems\/","title":{"rendered":"Poems by Nhylar"},"content":{"rendered":"

1.<\/span><\/p>\n

A Certain Type of Life<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

since the age of 16<\/span><\/p>\n

I idealised a certain type of life<\/span><\/p>\n

involving certain type of women<\/span><\/p>\n

who loved women<\/span><\/p>\n

they were the kind of people <\/span><\/p>\n

who looked perfectly content<\/span><\/p>\n

stooped over a book and their lover<\/span><\/p>\n

in a park on a beautiful Sunday morning<\/span><\/p>\n

the kind of people who held hands in queues <\/span><\/p>\n

the kind of people who’d meet each other’s gaze from across the room<\/span><\/p>\n

the kind of people who’d casually waltz on the street during their pit stop on a road trip<\/span><\/p>\n

the kind of people who loved fearlessly<\/span><\/p>\n

I wondered what stood between my life and their life <\/span><\/p>\n

and it’d hit me like a storm<\/span><\/p>\n

these were women in the First World, <\/span><\/p>\n

on the Internet<\/span><\/p>\n

and I was a girl in the Third World<\/span><\/p>\n

who was still in the closet.<\/span><\/p>\n

2.<\/p>\n

Lesbian Freedom<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She grew up fighting battles she didn’t choose<\/span><\/p>\n

she grew up trying to stand on her feet again<\/span><\/p>\n

she grew up trying to breathe above<\/span><\/p>\n

all the stereotypes being thrown at her<\/span><\/p>\n

pushing her into boxes,<\/span><\/p>\n

Boxes labelled \u2018tom boy\u2019 or \u2018lesbian\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

No, she didn’t conform to society’s idea of femininity<\/span><\/p>\n

yes, she chose to dress comfortably<\/span><\/p>\n

yes, she kicked ass in football. <\/span><\/p>\n

no, she didn’t like wearing too much makeup<\/span><\/p>\n

but she was more than these labels.<\/span><\/p>\n

She was meant to fly with her mighty wings <\/span><\/p>\n

not alter her identity to fit in a box.<\/span><\/p>\n

She dreamt of free-falling from mid-air<\/span><\/p>\n

her wings swaying freely behind her.<\/span><\/p>\n

She knew this was how she was supposed to feel: free. <\/span><\/p>\n

She tried to chase this feeling <\/span><\/p>\n

with college dudes and childhood buds<\/span><\/p>\n

she tried to abide by heteronormativity<\/span><\/p>\n

for her folks\u2019 sake <\/span><\/p>\n

thinking maybe she could mould herself into someone socially acceptable. <\/span><\/p>\n

For years it worked <\/span><\/p>\n

yet, she felt less and less authentic every day.<\/span><\/p>\n

She built courage and strength through<\/span><\/p>\n

self-defense art forms and giving back to the community <\/span><\/p>\n

she learnt to be grateful for the path on which she truly belongs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here she is, rejecting every label, embracing her freedom <\/span><\/p>\n

moulding herself like she is born again!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a03.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Lesbian Movies<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

why are all lesbian movies the same?<\/span><\/p>\n

they always start with the very different lives of two women<\/span><\/p>\n

most likely a femme and a butch<\/span><\/p>\n

and how they’re stuck in a state of oblivion<\/span><\/p>\n

and how suddenly, their paths collide<\/span><\/p>\n

bringing awareness to the existence<\/span><\/p>\n

of sexual tension between them<\/span><\/p>\n

which might be the result of a<\/span><\/p>\n

straight girl’s curiosity to experiment<\/span><\/p>\n

or perhaps a genuine connection<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

predictably building up to a steamy lovemaking scene,<\/span><\/p>\n

pandering to the male gaze<\/span><\/p>\n

and then there’s the inseparability,<\/span><\/p>\n

a beautiful magnetism between them<\/span><\/p>\n

until shit hits the fan and the <\/span><\/p>\n

glass ceiling comes crashing down <\/span><\/p>\n

in the form of parents, teachers, friends, <\/span><\/p>\n

or heteronormativity in general <\/span><\/p>\n

knocks on the door <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

somehow, they must drift apart <\/span><\/p>\n

somehow, one of them passes away <\/span><\/p>\n

somehow, they simply can’t be together.<\/span><\/p>\n

for once I would like to see<\/span><\/p>\n

two women riding off into the sunset<\/span><\/p>\n

two women getting married<\/span><\/p>\n

two women 50 years into the future <\/span><\/p>\n

still together, still happy, still in love<\/span><\/p>\n

lesbian movie endings make me wonder<\/span><\/p>\n

if they even want us to have a happy ending<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a04.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Queer Renaissance <\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Excuse me while I shun your heteronormativity<\/span><\/p>\n

because honestly<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m tired of consuming content consciously<\/span><\/p>\n

written by the straights <\/span><\/p>\n

performed by the straights <\/span><\/p>\n

created for the straights <\/span><\/p>\n

oh-so-modestly<\/span><\/p>\n

from fairy tales to cheesy rom-coms.<\/span><\/p>\n

Can we acknowledge that it’s time to feed the queers?<\/span><\/p>\n

Excuse me while I listen selectively <\/span><\/p>\n

to my straight friends ranting about their boyfriends<\/span><\/p>\n

because all my soul seeks is something that makes me feel seen <\/span><\/p>\n

and someone who makes me feel heard.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cue the queer renaissance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cover Image: Pixabay<\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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