A digital magazine on sexuality, based in the Global South: We are working towards cultivating safe, inclusive, and self-affirming spaces in which all individuals can express themselves without fear, judgement or shame
How does one negotiate the “delicate and complex” terrain of giving, receiving and respecting consent, and safely and effectively express sexual desire?
I am single and successful in the city. My general health is under control. I can still pull off an all-nighter maybe once a quarter. My sexuality and desire have evolved and matured with my age. Heck, in my eyes, I am Mrs. Robinson. But the eye candy at the bar sees me as Miss Havisham.
In Nacher Chhele, a 38 year old Avijit stands outside himself, takes a long look at his past, and writes an intense testimonio, which would resonate with many middle class Bengali queer men who grew up in the pre-global, pre-Internet city of Calcutta in the 80s and 90s.
The short film, “#Purana Pyaar”, by Gorilla Shorts, starring veteran actors Mohan Agashe and Lillette Dubey, evocatively highlights how age is no bar when it comes to love and desire.
I am a feminist, sex-positive and LGBT affirmative Clinical Psychologist. Having that openly and publicly stated means that my clients feel very safe discussing some of the more taboo topics, especially ones that we are made to feel ashamed of. One of these is the topic of the rape fantasy.
Any desire, not necessarily or narrowly sexual, but perhaps related to sexuality, such as independence, equality, gender role-bending, controlling your own finances, eating the food you’d like to eat as opposed to the food your spouse desires, wearing the clothes you’d like to wear, birth control, choosing to have or not to have children … any of these desires would have only that importance that the individual concerned is able to apportion to it.
Female sexuality isn’t in the closet any more. If you look at the spate of films that have been released in the past couple of years, they seem to tell us that women mouth expletives, watch porn and don’t mind talking about orgasms—things taken for granted when it comes to men.
Desire is never straightforward, and it cannot be straitjacketed – in fact, there is nothing straight about desire at all. Any issue dealing with desire, therefore, is wasted if viewed through a monochromatic lens.
सच्चाई इस सब से परे थी; सच्चाई ये थी कि मैं एक किशोर लड़की थी जिसके मन में अनेको आकांक्षाएँ थी, वासना थी, लालसा थी और इन सब को पूरा करने के तरीके ढूँढने की ललक भी थी।