The I Column
Traversing the Landscape of Intimacy, Penetrative Sex, Sexuality and BDSM
The point is simple. Intimacy is not about sexuality, penetrative sex, gender, BDSM or any one parameter. Yet, intimacy is about all of them AND MORE.
By Asmi
TRAVELLING SOLO IN INDIA
They say the world is a book and those who do not travel only read a page. I had a very un-travel-ish childhood. Like every other middle-class Indian family, my parents did not believe in travelling or even holidaying for that matter. The only vacation we used to take as an annual trip was to visit my maternal grandparents who thankfully lived in Dehradun – away from bad and polluted Delhi (my hometown).
March 15, 2016
Travelling Solo In India
I don’t know if travelling has changed my life, but I can definitely say that it has altered my thought process for the better. Especially, solo travelling has given me a lot of courage and determination to do things I had thought I’d be unable to do.
January 2, 2020
Trauma, the Body & Memory
In addition to healing from sexual trauma, which took a lot of work, the most joyful part of this journey has been a discovery of my own sexuality.
April 2, 2018
Tools of Controlling Mobility
I consider my daily travel a theatre project, far from the real me: I cover myself from head to toe and wear sunglasses double the size of my face. Why? Because most of the male passengers look at all the women in the compartment as if this is something they get for free along with their ticket.
By Swapna Vasudevan Thampi
October 17, 2016
Too Big
Why do we always assume that violence is done to us by someone else and not that we do it to ourselves quite easily and then have a million explanations to justify why we do not eat, why we use Fair and Lovely face cream, why we spend hours in the gym under duress, and why we focus incessantly on how much one has gained or lost in kilos and not in a metaphysical sense?
By Pramada Menon
May 1, 2014
Tomboy Femininity
When I finally came out to myself at age 16 and made it to a free queer youth space, I couldn’t wait to be accepted among folks who didn’t play by society’s heterosexist rules of masculine and feminine as polar opposites.
By Di Sands
December 1, 2020
To My 21-Year-Old Self
Dear Chand, Take a deep breath. I am sure you are excited to begin your academic journey in Mumbai. You…
By Chand
August 25, 2023
Through the Non-Heteronormative Looking Glass
No one ever really talks about how queer people in STEM fields navigate hostile spaces. ‘STEM’ stands for ‘Science, Technology, Engineering, Math’. We Indians, of course, are well aware of what these fields entail because our parents, neighbours and teachers often push us towards them. Pursuing a career in the humanities/arts means deviating from the norm, so it makes sense that sexualities and gender identities which are considered ‘deviant’ often flourish in these fields.
By Kavya Kartik
July 1, 2016
The Unlovable Love Handles
Each time I would look into the mirror, I would see the love handles bulging through my shirt and cringe inwardly. Mills and Boon had convinced me that my body was not loveable like that of the thin, beautiful protagonists, and thus, there would no knights coming for me on horses, now or later.
By Shivangi Gupta
December 3, 2018
The struggles of being an unmarried woman
I am a 26-year-old woman. Is there anything extraordinary about it? Maybe not. But there is certainly something extraordinary in…
By Deepa Ranganathan
May 1, 2015
The Story of an Odd Couple
A very hot July afternoon had forcibly pushed both of us inside a fancy Delhi mall. The air-conditioner was bringing…
By Shivani Gupta
May 15, 2015
The Space to Be
Every year since I was 20, I’ve been visiting an entirely new place on my birthday as a way of…
By Apphia
September 15, 2021
The Sisterhood of Sexuality
“Order me one too,” a friend said as I secretly purchased a vibrator online during a class so boring, I…
By Aakriti
February 1, 2018
The Paradox of Principles
I do not feel the need to fight the feminist war within these spaces all the time, now that it has become my home. I have come to terms with the idea that certain contradictions can co-exist peacefully like the yin and yang. But still, sometimes, my mind is roiled in conflict, with me cautiously trying to balance my two identities – the feminist and the army officer’s wife. Nevertheless, I am unwilling to give up one for the other (even if I might be perceived as being less of one of them). So I continue to be an individual with two seeming contradictions: a feminist army-officer’s-wife!
By Ramya Anand
July 1, 2017